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Rh He never hits the booze; his cash he blows For scenery and dances and for shows!

And, Mame, he's goin' to take me to a show If ma is only willin' I should go— He wouldn't hear of takin' me unless My mother knew about it and said, "Yes"— And did she? Well, you bet your boots she did — I'd like to see her try to stop me, kid.

Say, Mamie, pipe the rose I'm wearin'—well?
 * You see it's on my heart— the proper spot.
 * I want to state that that new friend I've got

Knows how to treat a lady somethin' swell. He doesn't spend so much: but you can tell. The way he spends it, he's been round a lot And knows the things to do, and what is what. Ain't it just simply lovely, Mamie? Smell! And, Mamie, listen!— How? What's that you said? I've kept you waiting, madam? Pawdon me, I awsked you what you wished; you shook your head, And so I thought— I understood— you see- Three yahds, you say?— Wait, Mamie, till we eat; I'll tell you what he said to me, complete. V What'U I wear, Mamie? What'll I wear? I'm goin' tonight to the show. What sort of style will I do up my hair— With a band or a comb or a bow? Do you think I should go like I would to a dance Or more like I wear in the store? I'm scared half to death and'I daren't take a chance— I never went this way before. For Terence is doin' the caper just grand ; Two seats, right downstairs near the front, Where the dresses is all the decolette brand And a opera cloak is the stunt. But ma says I dassen't wear dresses like that— Though my shoulders is better than some— And I ain't got a opera cloak or a hat, And I'll look like a kyke from a slum. I wonder if Terence will wish I'd not came! He's always so swell and so fine. But, still, he must know I'm no millionaire dame With duds full of jewels that shine. So I guess I'll just put on my lavender suit And I hope it'll please him all right; He seen it just once and he said it was cute— But I know I will look like a fright ! VI Terence, these is dandy seats. Say, you're awful good to me, Flowers, shows and fancy eats— You do spend your money free; Just the same I think that we— You, 1 mean— should save your dough, So we'd have— I mean Oh, gee! Ain't this just a dandy show ? Watch the little guy who beats On the drum ! Say, honest, he Hops like Jersey shore mosqueets Or a busy little flea. Terence, pipe that bunch of three In the third box, second row ; Fattest folks I ever see. Ain't this just a dandy show? O-oh! that villain; how he cheats! Ain't it fierce?— his villainy ? When that hero guy he meets He'll get his right suddenly. There's the leadin' lady ; she Ain't so awful pretty, though. Now we'll have some tragedy ! Ain't this just a dandy show ? L'ENVOI Terence, you're the goods, machree! And I had to tell you so. It was grand as it could be- lt was just a dandy show ! VII Hello! Yes, this is Nettie. Yep! How are you, Terence? Sure, I'm wise; I recognized you by your step And by the twinkle in your eyes. Aw, quitcher jollyin'— I ain't! Aw, now, go on ; you beat the Dutch ! You'd try the patience of a saint— You know my looks ain't such a much. What ? No, I don't. I never did. I say I don't! Nope, not a bit. Well, yes, I kind of like you, kid, Now that I come to think of it. Say, Terence, tell me where I stand. What's that? Oh, gee! that listens good. Say, honest, Terence, you're just grand— I want that strictly understood. Aw, keep out, Central! What you say? We can't be spoonin' on the 'phone? Now, don't be gettin' quite so gay ; You just leave our affairs alone. Hello, there, Terence, ain't that nerve? Them Central girls is much too flip, And if they got what they deserve They'd be more careful with their lip. The dance tonight? Why, sure thing, hon. I wouldn't miss it for the world ; It will be simply loads of fun. I'll be there, with my bangs all curled. I've got new scenery you'll like— 1 think it ought to please your eye ; And I'll be dressed on time, sure Mike! Get that one, honey ? Well, goodby! VIII When we get up for a spiel Words can't express how I feel. My joy so intense is I'm out of my senses, my brain's in a heavenly reel!

TEN M Jul IE? Then the air was filled with shouting, And there rained a ghastly dew From the nations' airy navies, Grappling in the central blue. —Tennyson. IT WAS bold, even in a poet, to make such a prediction more than half a century ago. Even in the last decade, when the first flights of heavier- than-air machines were being made, it would have seemed premature to think of the prac- tical application of aeronautics in warfare inside of another twenty-five years; but so rapid has been the advance of aero- planing that now the only ques- tion about the date when aeroplanes will be applied to warfare is the question as to when the next war will occur. That aeroplanes and dirigi- bles will be used in warfare is accepted by all authorities; and yet there are few subjects about which there has been so much wild speculation and where the material facts have been so ignored. The limitations of both aeroplanes and dirigibles are quite decided; yet military critics who are capable of judging say that in their respective spheres they will be extremely useful. These same critics agree, too, that aeronautics will not put an end to war— for some time, at any rate. It is visionary to speak of any invention as making war too horrible to be practiced. War has been growing more destructive ever since primitive man first thought to tie a stone to the end of his warclub. The latest development of high-power guns and smokeless powder — this powder is one of the most disconcerting inventions of modern war— have not served to affect the clash of armed Powers except to widen the field of hostilities. Professor Langley, one of the pioneers of mechanical flight, said of aerial navigation at a time when such navigation was still a dream: "It is to be supposed that the first application of this science will come in the arts of war rather than in those of peace. At the same time, when the movements of each party will be known to the other, when no line of forts or defenses will keep out the invading Krupp Gasbomb on the Gun, Ready to Fire — Emplacement Mount foe, the difficulties of defending a country against an enemy in the air will become so great that we may hope it will hasten rather than retard the day when war shall cease." The difficulties rather than the horrors of aviation will bring nations eventually to expect the abolition of war. Both navy and army officers and some aerial experts agree that the aeroplane is weak in offensive force. At the same time army officers say it will be effective against the navy and naval officers say it will be effective against the army. It is rather like the case of the German and the Frenchman in The Murders in the Rue Morgue. The Frenchman thought the murderer talked German and the German was sure he talked French. Brilliant aviators like Glenn Curtiss, Walter Brookins and C. K. Hamilton speak of an aeroplane as being able to put a warship out of action. Some army critics like General Nelson A. Miles and General W. A. Jones, who watched the aeroplane maneuvers at Atlantic City, say that the air- ship has sounded the knell of the navy and that battleships are already obsolescent. On the other hand, such an expert in high explosives as Hudson Maxim, who is fully in touch with aeronautics, says that an aeroplane could do little material damage to a battle- ship. He says that a few dis- figured decks and dented superstructures are the worst that could be expected from an aerial bombardment. Glenn Curtiss found by ex- periment that he could drop oranges from a height of three hundred feet so accurately that about seventy-five per cent of his shots were hits on a hori- zontal target as big as the deck of a battleship. Lieutenant- Commander Sweet, the expert for the Navy Department on the now extinct Airship Board, said that Curtiss might as well drop oranges as dynamite for all the harm he would do a battleship. General Fred Grant, when he was coming to take command of the Department of the East, went so far as to say that the aeroplane was not a serious factor in warfare at all and would need the development of another decade before it would be so considered. Frederic Villers, now Sir Frederic, England's most distinguished living war correspondent, says he would seriously advise Canada, which contemplates building a navy of its own, to put the money into aeronautics, as the next war will be decided in the air. I n view of what already has been done by flying machines and of the obvious facts of naval and aeronautic con- struction, it seems clear that the true verdict lies between the two extremes. Probably no aeroplane will ever be able to "blow a battleship out of the water," though "blow it under the water" would be a more exact term. At the same time it is possible that it might make a