Page:Robert Carter- his life and work. 1807-1889 (IA robertcarterhis00coch).pdf/36

20 going to make the tour of the Highlands,” said he, “and will be back in six weeks.” When he returned, the professors concluded that he must be got rid of in some way, for it would ruin them to fête him during a long stay.

There was one Geordie, a butcher, blind of one eye. Him they dressed up in professor’s gown and a long wig coming down to his waist. Geordie was sworn not to speak, but only to answer the ambassador by signs. The ambassador was introduced, and the professors waited about the door. When he came out they asked, “How do you like our professor of dumb signs?”

“He is wonderful. I did not suppose such a man existed.”

“But, to descend to particulars, what did he do?”

“I held up one finger to intimate that there was one God. He held up two to show there was the Father and the Son. I held up three to denote the Trinity. He doubled his fist to show that there was Trinity in Unity. I held up an orange to show the bounty with which a kind Providence had blessed the earth. He held up a piece of oat cake to show that the staff of life was better than the delicacies of it.”

When Geordie came out, he was asked, “Aweel, Geordie, how did ye come on wi’ the ambassador?”

“The ambassador! If I had him at the dam, I would gie him a guid deuking.”

“Ye wadna deuk the ambassador, wad ye?”

“Atweel wad I.”

“But what did he dae?”

“He held up ae finger, making a fule o’ me wi’ my ae ee.” Geordie was blind of an eye. “I held up two to say that my ane was as guid as baith his. He held up three to signify there was only three atween us. I