Page:Records of the Life of the Rev. John Murray.djvu/91

Rh Among the many, who extended to me the hand of amity, was a merchant, who never appeared so happy, as when conversing with me; he received me into his house, and employed me in his counting room; here I fancied my circumstances improved, but I was deceived. This gentleman was a mere superficial professor of Religion, which, when I discovered, I determined to return to my former situation. I had paid all my debts; I was easy, and occasionally happy, and I allowed myself many little indulgences, which, while a debtor, I should have believed criminal.

The leaving my new patron gave me, however, some pain; he had a very high opinion of me, although I could not reciprocate his esteem. He was ambitious of obtaining a name in the Church, and, for this purpose, he contemplated the observance of morning and evening prayer in his family; but, not being an early riser, he was at a loss to know how to reconcile his devotions with his business. At last he said: "You, my friend, are accustomed to perform the honours of my table. If you prolong your grace at breakfast, it will answer for morning prayer!" Greatly shocked, and completely disgusted, my determination to quit him was confirmed. I was still very communicative, and, consequently, the reason of my departure was generally known; so that my once warm friend was, as may be supposed, converted into a bitter enemy. I was, however, rather commended, than censured, while the conduct of the man of business excited general contempt. This gratified me! alas, the piety of this world is based on pride! I now became, as far as I was known, an object of attention in every place, where vital Religion, as it was phrased, obtaining its votaries. Mr. Romaine, Mr. Jones, and many other clergymen, distinguished me. Hints were thrown out respecting my once more coming forward as a public teacher; but against this I was determined. I was astonished, that I had ever dared to venture upon so responsible an assumption! As the eternal well being of the many was supposed to rest with the preacher, an error in judgment would consequently be fatal to his hearers; and, as I had now learned that I was not perfect in knowledge, I could not be assured, I should not lead the people astray; in which tremendous event they would, to all eternity, be imprecating curses on my head. Considerations of such magnitude were sufficient to seal my lips; but I was characterized as a pattern of piety, and my experiences were greedily sought, by individuals of various denominations. There was a society, belonging to a Baptist meeting, near Good Man's fields, which met statedly at each other's houses once