Page:Records of the Life of the Rev. John Murray.djvu/84

74 of those convivial circles, where I had so long figured. But the grace of God upheld me, and never, from that moment, did I unite with those associates, from which I was at first separated by necessity.

I was now an insulated being. I carefully avoided my former companions, and my religious connexions avoided me; thus I had now abundant leisure for reflection. Some time elapsed, before the change, which had taken place, reached the extremity of those circles, in which I had moved. Many who heard, lent no credence to a report, which they believed without foundation. The greater number of those laughter-loving beings, who had attached themselves to me, never having imbibed any religious sentiments, had not learned the habits of my former life. Many individuals called upon me as usual, and found me a different man, from him, whom they had been accustomed to see. A few, suspecting the cause, sought to relieve my mind, by warm, and liberal assurances of never-failing friendship; and they generously tendered the unlimited use of their purses! I made my acknowledgments; but assured them, the whole world, as a bribe, would be insufficient to lead me again into paths of folly. I was not, I said, unhappy because I no longer possessed ability to run the career of error, certainly not; my infelicity originated, from the consideration, that I had ever receded from the paths of peace. Some resented my remarks, as a tacit insult upon themselves; others ridiculed me, and pronounced me under the influence of a strong delirium; and two or three, who still loved me too well to separate themselves from me, were, for a time, induced to reflect seriously upon their own situation: but these, also, shortly disappeared; and, of the numerous triflers, with whom I had so many months fluttered, not a single loiterer remained; and most devoutly did I render thanks to Almighty God, for extricating me from such associates. I boarded in the house of a very lively, vivacious man; indeed, his whole family might have been denominated sons and daughters of mirth: This fact had been their principal recommendation to me, but it now added to the burden of my mind. I made inquiry after another lodging, but, on contemplating a removal, difficulties, to which I had not before recurred, stared me in the face. I was considerably in arrears to my host, and, as I must depart in a different state of mind, from that which I was in, when I became his lodger, and which had impressed him in my favour; I could not expect he would be very kindly disposed toward me. I was indebted to others, and my distresses seemed hourly to accumulate. Both present and future support were alike beyond my reach, and it appeared to me, I had attained