Page:Records of the Life of the Rev. John Murray.djvu/83

Rh who has formerly known me? how dare I stand among the worshippers of that God, whom I have so grossly offended? Yet I will go; and, with slow and mournful steps, I walked forward. The congregration had assembled. I entered, taking my stand under the gallery. I dared not raise my eyes; they were bathed in tears. Mr. Whitefield, in his usual, energetic manner, addressed his audience; but no sound of consolation reached me. At last he said: "But there may be, in some corner of this house, a poor, desponding, despairing soul, who, having sinned, greatly sinned against God and against himself, may be afraid to lift toward Heaven his guilty eye; he may, at this moment, be suffering the dreadful consequences of his wandering from the source of true happiness; and possibly he may apprehend he shall never be permitted to return! If there be any one of this description present, I have to inform such individual, that God is still his loving Father; that He says, Return unto me, my poor, backsliding child, and I will heal your backslidings, and love you freely. What message shall I return my Master from you, my poor, afflicted, wandering, weeping brother? shall I say, you are suitably penetrated by his gracious invitation, and that you would come with weeping, and supplication; that you would fly with gratitude, and prostrate yourself before Him, were you not so much injured by your wanderings; that you feel you are not able, and that you should blush to ask his assistance? Is this your message? poor, poor soul! never fear, your gracious Father will shortly send you every needful aid." All this was said to me; at least, to my wondering spirit, it thus appeared; and I seemed as if expiring, amid the mingling emotions of regret, apprehension, and hope.

I left the tabernacle under these potent impressions; and, crossing Moorfields, I was overtaken by one of my old religious connexions, who, regarding me with wonder, said, "Am I so happy as to see you, one of the many who where at the tabernacle this evening?" My reply was indicative of the sorrow of my heart. He proceeded to make many remarks, until, in the moment of separation, he said, "Well, my friend, perhaps, you will go, from hence, into company where you will forget all that you have this evening heard." My heart was very full; and from its abundance I said, No, never will I again mingle in circles calculated to efface impressions, which I will cherish to the latest hour of my existence. Let these tears, these fast-falling tears, evince my sincerity. My friend rejoiced in the prospect of my returning to the path, from which I had wandered; but he rejoiced with fear and trembling. He knew my connexions were numerous, and that my vivacity rendered me the life