Page:Records of the Life of the Rev. John Murray.djvu/73

Rh my peace." Launched upon the wide ocean, I was speeding to a country, my native country indeed; but a country, in which I could boast neither relation, nor friend, not even a single acquaintance. I was quitting a country, in which I had both relations and friends, with many pleasant acquaintances; yet this consideration did not much depress me; for although my heart was pained, exquisitely pained, when I reflected on those I was leaving, yet I was in raptures at the thought of England. I promised myself every thing pleasing in England; yet, in my most visionary moments, I could not name a source, from which I could rationally expect establishment, or even temporary gratification. Several gentlemen were in the cabin, who took kind notice of me; they asked me no questions, so I was not embarrassed; but they contributed to render my passage agreeable, which, however, was very short; for the identical passage, which, when I accompanied my father, consumed full nine weeks, was now performed in three days; but, exempted from those fears, and that nausea, which sometimes afflict fresh-water sailors, I was rather pleased with the rapidity of our passage. We dropped anchor in Bristol channel; I was charmed with an opportunity of going on shore at Pill, and once more greeting the good old lady, that had, many years before, so tenderly compassionated me, when I returned, as one from the dead, to my offended father. Alas! she was no more; this was a disappointment, but I was in England, and every thing I saw, swelled my throbbing bosom to rapture. I was determined on walking to Bristol, it was only five miles, and through a most enchanting country. O! what transport of delight I felt, when, with the ensuing morning, I commenced my journey. The birds sweetly carolled, the flowers enamelled the meadows, the whole scene was paradisiacal. It was England. But where was I going? I knew not. How to be employed? I knew not; but I knew I was in England, and, after feasting my eyes and ears, I seated myself upon a verdant bank, where the hot wells, (so much celebrated as the resort of invalid votaries of fashion, who come hear to kill time, and to protract a debilitated existence by the use of the waters,) were in full view. Here I began seriously to reflect upon my situation, and to attend to various questions, proposed by a certain invisible, my internal monitor, who thus introduced the inquiry. "Well, here you are, in England, what are you to do?" God only knows. "Had you not better apply to Him for his direction and protection?" Certainly, where has my mind wandered, that I have not thus done before? The emotions of my heart were at this moment indescribable. When I last gazed upon