Page:Records of the Life of the Rev. John Murray.djvu/43

Rh my pious brethren were apprehensive it would become my idol; but we all have our idols. Mr. Wesley was the idol of the many. One evening at a love-feast, when the whole society were assembled, a pious sister, while narrating her experiences, looking earnestly at Mr. Wesley, vehemently exclaimed: "O! sir, I consider myself as much indebted to God for you, as for Jesus Christ!" The whole company were greatly surprised, and, as I believe, expected Mr. Wesley would have reproved her for this speech; but it passed, without any then expressed observation. The ensuing day it became the subject of animadversion, when I undertook to defend her, by remarking, that as she never could have had any advantage from Jesus Christ, if she had never heard of, and believed in him; she certainly was as much indebted to Almighty God for sending Mr. Wesley, through whom she obtained this redeeming knowledge, as for the Saviour, in whom she believed!!

My close connexion with my young friend, although very pleasant to my social propensities, subjected me, nevertheless, to some pain. He was indulged with more pocket money, than I could command; and although he considered his stipend never so well employed, as when it contributed to my convenience, yet, disliking dependence, I had recourse to methods of obtaining money, which did not always please me; I sometimes borrowed, and sometimes solicited gifts from my mother, which I did not find it easy to repay. It would have been well if neither my companion, nor myself, had been in the habit of spending money; we derived therefrom no advantage; it introduced us into company, where we were apt to forget ourselves; it is true we were never inebriated, but we were often gay, and, for religious characters, too much off our guard. This dear youth was not, like me, habituated to religion, he was not early disciplined by its most rigid laws; I could with abundantly more facility turn aside with him, than he could pursue with me the narrow path, in which I had generally walked. We became gradually too fond of pleasures, which would not bear examination; yet they were such as the world denominated innocent, although they strongly impelled us to gratifications disallowed by Religion. We were now fast advancing in life, and, with all the enthusiasm of youth, we were planning schemes for futurity, when lo! my precious, my early friend, was seized by a malignant fever, which soon deprived him of his reason. I was on the verge of distraction, I entreated permission to tarry constantly by his bedside; the progress of the disease was astonishingly rapid, and in a few days this dear, this amiable youth,