Page:Records of the Life of the Rev. John Murray.djvu/42

32 sight:" and out of his sight I accordingly went, almost wishing I might never again appear before him. This night I parted with my passion for Miss Dupee; I sighed for an opportunity of opening my heart to my ever faithful friend, I expected consolation from him, and I was not disappointed. Suspecting the business was the subject of conversation in the house of Mr. Little, I determined to go thither no more: with my friend, however, I took my usual walk; he perceived the sadness of my soul, but it was a consolation to me to learn, that he was ignorant of the cause: I poured my grief into his bosom, and his indignation was unbounded; hatred for Miss Dupee grew in his soul, yet, when I knew she had the goodness never to communicate my folly to any one, but my father, and this in a private letter, I could not but esteem her. So here rested the affair, and I wrote no more love-letters, until I addressed the lady whom I married. Though I was not by this torturing business exempted from la belle passion, yet I was prevented by my fears from its manifestation. In fact it was not until I was in a situation to make an election, as I supposed for life, that I was again condemned to struggle with a sentiment so imposing, as that which had occasioned me so much vexation. Many fair faces attracted, and for a time fixed my attention, and I sometimes looked forward to the brightest, purest scenes of domestic felicity, which were however as visionary, as could have been conceived in the pericranium of the most confirmed lunatic.

The religious melancholy, so pleasing to my father, again took possession of my mind; once more at early dawn I haunted the church-yard, frequently repeating to myself,

The intervening hours of public worship, on Sunday, were passed by me at Church, in appropriate meditation and prayer: the solemn stillness of the place aided my aspirations, and rendered me abundantly more gloomy; but the versatility of my disposition still gave me to emerge, and I was then proportionably vivacious. In this zigzag manner I proceeded, gaining something every day, while I enjoyed a fine state of health, and the happiness of being much beloved by a large circle of respectable connexions. I still continued to cultivate my garden; it was the best in the place, and being seen and admired by many,