Page:Records of the Life of the Rev. John Murray.djvu/126

116. "Pshaw, pshaw, how whimsical; but eat your breakfast, man: I promise, I will do neither." We then breakfasted in peace, and I derived a mournful kind of pleasure, from the assurance, that I should not involve the brother of my Eliza in my ruin. But, how great was my astonishment, when he ordered in the officer, who was also master of the house, when, after demanding and discharging his bill, he produced a receipt in full from my creditor, and a complete discharge for me. Thus was I liberated from the fangs of these harpies, and I accompanied this commiserating brother to his hospitable mansion, where he related to me the means, by which he had discovered me.

Quitting this noble-minded friend, I hastened home to my suffering mother, who was in agonies on my account; ignorant where I was, or what was my situation, her apprehensions were of the most fearful kind. We mingled our tears, while she most affectionately endeavoured to soothe me, and to bind up my broken heart; but my only remaining hope was, that, in this distempered state, I had not long to suffer. But, alas! here also I was deceived; long, very long have I continued, and with heart-felt sorrow, to tread this thorny maze. The brothers of my departed angel combined to help me forward; many plans were proposed for me; a sum of money was hired to place me, as a partner, in a mercantile house, and my brothers were my bondsmen! I detested the thought of new prospects from such a world as this, but, to my beloved William, I was largely in debt; he had a growing family, and both gratitude, as well as justice, demanded I should make every effort for his remuneration. Thus I again became a melancholy man of business. It was supposed the road, not only to competency, but to affluence, was open before me, and I was pronounced in flourishing circumstances. It was, for those who loved me, a pleasing dream; but soon the golden vision vanished, and I awoke to the certainty of its being no more than a dream.

Again I returned to my lonely dwelling; pleased with the thought, that my solitude would no more be interrupted; again I detested the world, and all which it could bestow. Thus a few more melancholy months rolled mournfully away, and I expected to finish my days in the retirement, to which I was devoted. One consideration, however, still pressed heavily upon my mind. The very considerable sums, for which I was indebted to my generous brother, was, to me, a mighty burden; and this beloved brother, availing himself of my anxiety on this account, once more set me afloat. Many were the efforts, to which I consented; great were my mental sacrifices. But one expedient