Page:Records of the Life of the Rev. John Murray.djvu/112

102 easily confounded." This, I thought, was very good; it was clear, as any testimony in divine revelation, that Christ Jesus died for all, for the sins of the whole world, for every man, &c. &c.; and even Mr. Hitchins had declared, that every one, for whom Christ died, must finally be saved. This I took home with me to my wife: she saw the truth, that we were so well prepared to embrace, manifested even by the testimony of its enemies, and we were inexpressibly anxious to hear, and to understand. We now attended public worship, not only as a duty, conceiving that we thus increased a fund of righteousness, upon which we were to draw in every exigence, but it became our pleasure, our consolation, and our highest enjoyment. We began to feed upon the truth as it is in Jesus, and every discovery we made filled us with unutterable transport. I regarded my friends with increasing affection, and I conceived, if I had an opportunity of conversing with the whole world, the whole world would be convinced. It might truly have been said, that we had a taste of heaven below.

It was soon whispered in the Tabernacle, that I had frequently been seen going to, and coming from Relly's meeting! This alarmed many, and one very dear friend conversed with me in private upon the subject, heard what, from the abundance of my heart, my mouth was constrained to utter, smiled, pitied me, and begged I would not be too communicative, lest the business should be brought before the society, and excommunication might follow. I thanked him for his caution; but, as I had conversed only with him, I had hazarded nothing. In a short time I was cited to appear before the society, worshipping in Mr. Whitefield's tabernacle; I obeyed the summons, and found myself in the midst of a very gloomy company, all seemingly in great distress; they sighed very bitterly, and at last gave me to understand, that they had heard, I had become an attendant upon that monster, Relly, and they wished to know if their information was correct. I requested I might be told, from whom they had their intelligence? and they were evidently embarrassed by my question. Still, however, I insisted upon being confronted with my accuser, and they at length consented to summon him; but I was nearly petrified, when I learned it was the identical friend, who had privately conversed with me, and who had privately cautioned me, that had lodged the information against me! Upon this friend I had called, in my way to the tabernacle, confiding to him my situation; he said, he had feared the event; he pitied me, and prayed with me. But he did not calculate upon being confronted with me, and his confusion was too great to suffer his attendance. It was