Page:Readings in European History Vol 1.djvu/562

 526 Readings in European History friendship with noble personages, my good fortune has been such as to excite envy. But it is the cruel fate of those who are growing old that they can commonly only weep foi friends who have passed away. The greatest kings of this age have loved and courted me. They may know why ; I certainly do not. With some of them I was on such terms that they seemed in a certain sense my guests rather than I theirs ; their lofty position in no way embarrassing me, but, on the contrary, bringing with it many advantages. I fled, however, from many of those to whom I was greatly attached ; and such was my innate longing for liberty, that I studiously avoided those whose very name seemed incom- patible with the freedom that I loved. I possessed a well-balanced rather than a keen intellect, one prone to all kinds of good and wholesome study, but especially inclined to moral philosophy and the art of poetry. The latter, indeed, I neglected as time went on, and took delight in sacred literature. Finding in that a hidden sweet- ness which I had once esteemed but lightly, I came to regard the works of the poets as only amenities. Among the many subjects which interested me, I dwelt especially upon antiquity, for our own age has always repelled me, so that, had it not been for the love of those dear to me, I should have preferred to have been born in any other period than our own. In order to forget my own time, I have con- stantly striven to place myself in spirit in other ages, and con- sequently I delighted in history. The conflicting statements troubled me, but when in doubt I accepted what appeared most probable, or yielded to the authority of the writer. 222. Pe- In one of the most sprightly of his letters, Petrarch reputation confesses that he is afflicted with a mania for writing, as a literary a disease which, perhaps through his example, has spread (From a let- so widely that every one is writing verses and talking terofhis.) It is after all but a poor consolation to have companions in misery. I should prefer to be ill by myself. Now I am