Page:Randolph, Paschal Beverly; Eulis! the history of love.djvu/129

124 —drove me back upon God and my own soul; and I prefer being called all the names the discontented could or can apply, to being counted among their malign confraternity, because my Philosophy taught me to forbear retaliation, seeing they could not help doing as they did, being aborts, badly begotten and worse brought forth— constitutionally mean,—physico-worshipping fathers, half-murdered victims for mothers. My science told me just what to expect of them; while my vision disclosed images of pool-haunting newts, when seeking for figures to represent their souls; and, en passant, it was partly because I advocated Oriental Magic, in preference to their mesmeric and similar revelative methods, that I was hated. I could not help it, for I believe in God, and even so do I believe and know that those dark ovoids, in proper hands, are capable of enabling a true soul to scan more mysteries in a week than they can in a lifetime, with all their fantastic methods combined—Mysteries forever and ever beyond their reach; for we know where we go after death; they but guess at it.

Oh, how I have yearned for everlasting death, in view of the pitiless, remorseless persecutions, insults, wrongs, heaped on my head by thousands whom I never either harmed or even met—envious, jealous, sordid! I pitied them, and longed for lasting rest. It is not so now, for the victory is mine, and I pity and forgive them all,—in the same spirit in which an elephant pities and forgives—a bed-bug!—for I regard all slanderers as most people do that delicate and deliciously odoriferous insect. During the year 1874 I propose to give the world a test of the powers of Vision of the soul when under the sleep of Sialam,—that upper clairvoyance which comes never by mesmeric roads, nor drugs, fumes, ethers or spiritual circles, but ever by the three principles, through the aid of the Vast Ovoid elsewhere treated of herein. [If I die there is another—a selected chief of Eulis—who, in time, will finish what I leave undone—at least, such is my hope.] Because I know well that weak and impatient ones or mere wonder-seekers, fail with them, as would an Ashantee with a transit instrument; but others, a goodly band of royal seers! succeed, and are able to accomplish loftiest things of seership, not alone by