Page:Punch (Volume 147).pdf/57

July 8, 1914.] 

House of Commons, Monday, June 29.—Curious how the Labour Party, who the other day, joining hands with the Conservatives, nearly threw the Government out, lead the way in sartorial fashion. Since, home from the storied East, presented himself in reach-me-down suit of white drill such as as is worn aboard ship in the Red Sea, nothing has created such sensation as the dropping in this afternoon of Mr. , arrayed in a summer suit. It was not, as some might have expected, the simple garment of the elder branch of his honourable family. No. It was not a smock such as pictured  wearing when he made his historic declaration, "I am not an agricultural labourer." (Gorton Div., Lancs., Lab.), as The Times' parliamentary report has it, burst upon the attention of a crowded House at Question-time got up in wondrous garment, white in the foundation of colour, but relieved from the crude hardness of suit by what suggested dexterous process of patting and lightly smearing with a mustard spoon. A Trilby hat crowned and accentuated this creation.

As the vision crossed the Bar Members sat silent, gazing upon it with lips slightly parted. Similarly, upon a peak in Darien, stout stared at the Pacific.

Silence was broken by a burst of hearty cheering, in which the keen ear detected a slightly discordant note. Whilst Members were frankly disposed to applaud the boldness of what I believe purveyors of new models of female dress call the "confection," whilst they were lost in admiration of its effect, there was a feeling of disappointment that they had not thought of it themselves, and been the first to enter the field.

Thanks to the genius of a former House was able to realise the figure presented by the present Earl, whilst still with us in the Commons, skipping along in the purity of a Monday morning smock, carrying in his right hand a garlanded pitchfork. What the present House, jaded with a succession of Budgets and the persistence of the Ulster question, would like to see is the entrance of those twin brethren, Lord and Earl, walking arm-in-arm, arrayed in garb approaching as nearly as possible that which, thanks to Mr. , this afternoon illuminated the Legislative Chamber.

Business done.— announced third edition of Budget. "Before the end of the week," said, "I expect we shall meet him running up and down the Terrace with hand to widely-opened mouth shouting "Extry Speshul!"

Tuesday.— began to think he had escaped consequences of his little mistake. Nearly a week has sped since he called attention to indiscretion of Captain, aide-de-camp to the , who, reviewing small body of Nationalist volunteers, enjoined them to stand fast by cause of Home Rule. From answer of it appeared that Member for South Birmingham had been forestalled by Lord, who had called upon the Captain for explanation and received suitable apology for the error.

Irish Members quick to see opening innocently made for them. Having long regarded with resentment Lord active patronage of movements of Ulster volunteers, have sedulously sought opportunity of bringing it under notice of House. obligingly provided it. Unexpected delay in seizing it was due to search for particulars not presented in form of questions addressed to, citing with dates and places six separate occasions when the aide-de-camp to the had, by his presence and counsel, sanctioned reviews of Ulster volunteers, "whose avowed object," as the question put it, "is, in event of enactment of Home Rule Bill, to resist by armed force the authority of the Crown and Parliament, and to make the administration of the law impossible." What Mr., with studied politeness, was anxious to know was "whether there is any special reason why in this matter the Marquis of should be treated differently from Captain ?"

not to be drawn into the controversy. Duties of aide-de-camp to the, unlike those of aide-de-camp to , are, he said, of entirely honorary character. In such circumstances he did not think it worth while to take notice of the matter. 