Page:Punch (Volume 147).pdf/515

December 9, 1914.] 

We are told that "it is confidently believed by the advisers to the Treasury that the new issue of £1 notes cannot be successfully imitated." that it is a mistake to put our artists on their mettle in this way.

A black eagle, a contemporary tells us, was seen one day last week at Westgate-on-Sea. A Prussian bird, no doubt, in mourning for lost Calais.

The German Government has declared timber contraband of war owing to its alleged scarcity in Germany. Surely, as suggested on another occasion. the German authorities could find plenty of wood in their own country if they only put their heads together?

The news that "Bantam" battalions are now being formed all over England is said to have greatly interested General.

The report that the spent last week-end in the country is said to have caused intense annoyance to the, who considered that it showed a lack of respect for His War.

A map of the United Kingdom published in the Berlin Lokalanzeiger depicts the Mersey as being located in the West of Ireland. Frankly we are surprised at the Germans showing any Mersey anywhere.

Mr. has been accused of perpetrating a mixed metaphor when he warned the Government, the other day, that "they would wake up and find the horse had bolted with the money." Is it not, however, a fact that when a horse bolts he sometimes takes a bit between the teeth?

The financial expert of The Observer, in referring to the War Loan, said:—"From all over the country the small investor rallied in his thousands." But he had just said that "the applicants were enormous." Possibly the truth is somewhere between the two—say about 11 stone.

A football pavilion in Bromley Road, Catford, was entirely destroyed by fire last week. We are trying to bear the blow bravely.

There would seem to be no limit to the influence of the Censor. Here is the latest example of his activities:—

""

We must confess that we fail to see what British interest is served by withholding the General's name.

The German has now repeated, in the presence of a full-dress meeting of the Reichstag, the old falsehood about Great Britain being responsible for the War. This, we believe, is what is known as Lying in State.

And the statement that Germany need have no fears of a food famine may be described, we take it, as a Cereal Story.

had received the honorary degree of Doctor from Breslau University—as a reward, presumably, for doctoring the truth.

"'GERMAN PREPARATIONS IN BELGIUM.

—Star."

It sounds like a 30,000 foot cinema film.





least that we others can do is to see that those who have joined the colours don't have too dull a time in camp during the long evenings. Messrs. are organizing concerts which will serve the further good purpose of helping many professional musicians whose incomes have been reduced by the war. Each is estimated to cost about £10. The Directors of Messrs. have privately subscribed £500 towards the carrying out of this scheme, and they would be glad to receive generous help from the public. Subscriptions should be addressed to them at Conduit Street, Bond Street, W.

 

Mother of the Gracchi.—If your son is under age, below the standard heigh, is obliged to wear coloured glasses, suffers much from face-ache, and frequently has carbuncles, we fear his chances of obtaining a commission in the Household Cavalry are nil.

Anxious to help.—The pistols used by your grandfather during the Peninsular War would not, we are afraid, be of any use to your nephew in the present campaign. We advice you to communicate with the nearest Rural Dean or Archdeacon.

Troubled Parent.—We fear that your boy will be obliged to dispense with his hot-water bottle now that he has joined the Army, and it would be no use your writing to his commanding officer about the matter.

Aunt Alice.—Lord hardly ever accepts invitations to tea-parties, but it was nice of you to think of asking him.

 "'Dans l'Est, nous avons dû refuser une suspension d'armes, probablement destinée à l'inhumation des blessés.'"

To judge from this extract from Le Nord Maritime the French still lack a true appreciation of German culture.