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["The Times" of October 1st vouches for the following Army Order issued by the German on August 19th: "It is my Royal and Imperial Command that you concentrate your energies, for the immediate present, upon one single purpose, and that is that you address all your skill and all the valour of my soldiers to exterminate first the treacherous English and walk over General French's contemptible little Army."]

, I do not know your whereabouts.
 * The gods elude us. When we would detect your

Earthly address, 'tis veiled in misty doubts
 * Of devious conjecture.

At Nancy, in a moist trench, I am told
 * That you performed an unrehearsed lustration;

That there you linger, having caught a cold,
 * Followed by inflammation.

Others assert that your asbestos hut,
 * Conveyed (with you inside) to Polish regions,

Promises to afford a likely butt
 * To Russia's wingéd legions.

But, whether this or that (or both) be true,
 * Or merely tales of which we have the air full,

In any case I say, "O, do,
 * Do, if you can, be careful!"

For if, by evil chance, upon your head,
 * Your precious head, some impious shell alighted,

I should regard my dearest hopes as dead,
 * My occupation blighted.

I want to save you for another scene,
 * Having perused a certain Manifesto

That stimulates an itching, very keen,
 * In every Briton's best toe—

An Order issued to your Army's flower,
 * Giving instructions most precise and stringent

For the immediate wiping out of our
 * "Contemptible" contingent.

Well, that's a reason why I'd see you spared;
 * So take no risks, but rather heed my warning,

Because I have a little plan prepared
 * For Potsdam, one fine morning.

I see you, ringed about with conquering foes—
 * See you, in penitential robe (with taper),

Invited to assume a bending pose
 * And eat that scrap of paper!

O. S.

 

{{sc|My very dear Brother and Best Friend,—I seize a few moments of leisure to write and congratulate you, as I congratulate myself, on this constant succession of almost incredible victories that have brought new laurels to your arms. Your presence in Paris at the head of the splendid troops whom you have conducted from triumph to triumph places the coping-stone on your life's work. Oh, that it had been possible for your dear old grandfather—I did not always value him as he deserved—to have lived to see this glory. But, then, I suppose your part in the work would have been less brilliant and prominent, so, perhaps, all is for the best as it is.

To have captured the whole French army; to have driven the English army into the sea and drowned them in what they call their own element (by the way, when are you going to make your triumphal entry into London?); to have brought the ungrateful Belgians to recognise you not merely as their conqueror but also as their benefactor—all this is really almost enough of honour for one man. But in addition you have made the plans which have kept so many of the disgraceful Russians cooped up in their own country, and you will soon, I am sure, lead your troops to Moscow and on to Petersburg. My own brave fellows shall march shoulder to shoulder with them. Nothing will be impossible to these armies thus united and thus led.

What my noble soldiers have hitherto done has been tremendous and overwhelming. You have, of course, read the bulletins issued by our War Office. These, however, give an inadequate idea of what has taken place, and you will, I am sure, forgive me if with the natural pride of an old man I relate to you these matters in their true proportions. We have made a military promenade through Montenegro and Servia and have annexed both these troublesome countries. Only ten Servians and four Montenegrins have been left alive, so that in future, it may be hoped, we shall not be vexed by of their conspiracies. In the Adriatic we have made mincemeat of the combined British and French fleets, and have removed from the wretched Italians any temptation to join in the war against us. It was a magnificent victory. quite equal to that in which your grand fleet sunk the whole of the British fleet in the North Sea. Finally, as you know, we have driven the Russians before us chaff before the wind. Many hundred thousand Russians, with guns, ammunition and battle flags, have been taken prisoners and are interned here in Vienna. All these mighty deeds have been performed by our soldiers and sailors at an infinitesimal cost. I doubt if we have had two hundred men killed and wounded. Surely it is a great thing to be alive in these glorious days.

What pleases me, I may say, as much as anything else, is the wonderful example of generosity and humanity which your army and mine have been able to offer to the world. I shudder to think what would have happened to Belgium, to Germany and to ourselves, had the French, the Russians and the English been victorious. Villages would have been burnt, civilians with their women and children would have been massacred, churches and cathedrals would have been laid in ruins, and whole countries would have been devastated. It is to our glory that nothing of this sort has happened; but, after all, we need not take credit for having acted as Christians and gentlemen. We could do no other.

I am arranging for a Te Deum in St. Stephen's church to thank God for all the blessings He has vouchsafed to our arms. I wonder if you would consent to to attend. I would arrange the date to to suit you. And I hope you will bring with you some of those fine upstanding fellows of yours who have fought through the war. Some foolish persons consider them stiff and hard, but, for myself, I like to see their soldierly pride. Pray give my regards to your gracious Empress, and my love to the little princes. But, of course, they must be quite grown up by now.

{{gap|4em}}Your devoted Brother and Friend,

{{gap|10em}}{{sc|Francis Joseph.}}

P.S. I have just heard that a large number of Russians it are approaching Vienna. No doubt they are sent to sue for peace.

 {{c|{{strong|How to be Useful in War Time.}}}}

{{blockquote| "The usefulness of the map is increased by its giving weights in mètres."—Morning Post. }}