Page:Punch (Volume 147).pdf/243

September 16, 1914.] 

" crumbling towers, the shattered fanes, The havoc of the Belgian plains; Dead mothers, children, priests and nuns, Who fall before My conquering Huns— Believe Me, friends, these grievous woes Deprive Me of My due repose, And, though enforced by higher need, Make My Imperial bosom bleed."

As the fat spider wipes its eye Over each strangulated fly; As Abdul Hamid II once was fain To weep for the Armenian slain; As felt his eyelids drip When women cowered beneath his whip: As Tomás_de_Torquemada doubtless bled With sorrow for the tortured dead— So in his own peculiar style Weeps the Imperial Crocodile.

 

is acknowledged by the most distinguished Teutonic psychologists to have an important place in modern warfare, as serving to maintain a properly submissive attitude on the part of the unarmed enemy, and the College has been established to complete this side in the training of cadets for the Imperial German field army.

Many difficulties have had to be surmounted. For instance it was found that, in spite of training students, proceeding to the front showed hesitation in the execution of non-combatants, and grew pale on first hearing the cries of women and children. This difficulty is being obviated by means of gramophone records taken in Belgium, which serve to inure the novice to the sounds of anguish. By the time he proceeds to the front no cries for mercy have any power to move him.

The curriculum is extensive. In addition to regular musketry practice at moving and stationary Red Cross wagons, hospital bomb drill, etc., courses of lectures are being given by thinkers of the first eminence. Some of the most celebrated names on the contemporary record of German culture are to be found in our staff list. During the coming term, for instance, Dr. Junker, of the Friedrich von Bernhardi School of Philosophy, will give a series of discourses on "The Evolution of the Doctrine of Blood and Iron," "Infantile Mortality and its Promotion," "Philosophic Doubts regarding the Value of Mercy," illustrated by photographs taken in Louvain; and a course of lectures on "The Debt of Art to Atrocity" will be delivered by Professor Blutwurst, who occupies the Attila chair of Anatomy in the University of Leipzig.

The proper recreation of students is not neglected and sports are encourages. Paper chases are held frequently, the paper torn up for the trail being provided by the courtesy of the Foreign Office, who supply the College with all treaties found upon their shelves.

The Principal desires it to be known that he will always be glad to hear from past students now serving with the Imperial Forces who have performed any notable act of inhumanity towards non-combatants.



Teutonic Barber.

Customer.



The lurid sunset's slanting rays
 * Incarnadine the soldier's deed;

His rugged countenance betrays
 * The bulldog breed.

Not his to shun the stubborn fight,
 * The combat against heavy odds,

Alone, unaided—'tis a sight
 * For men and gods!

And now his back is bowed and bent,
 * Now crouching, now erect, he stands,

And now the red life blood is sprent
 * From both his hands.

He takes his punishment on trust,
 * As one who sees and yet is blind,

For every lacerating thrust
 * Comes from behind.

The twilight creeps, the sun has gone,
 * But triumph fills the soldier's breast;

He's sewn his back brace-buttons on 
 * While fully dressed!