Page:Psychopathia Sexualis (tr. Chaddock, 1892).djvu/109

Rh part physically and mentally by the activity of the sexual ideas in the perverse direction, and not upon the nature of the act itself.

(a) The Desire for Abuse and Humiliation as a Means of Sexual Satisfaction.—The following detailed autobiography of a masochist, gives an exhaustive description of a typical case of this remarkable perversion:—

Case 44. I come of a neuropathic family, in which, with all kinds of peculiarities of character and manner of life, there are several abnormalities of a sexual nature. My imagination has always been very lively, and was very early directed to sexual matters. As far as I can remember, I was much given to onanism long before puberty. Even at that time my thoughts were, for hours at a time, directed to intercourse with females. But the relations in which I placed myself with the opposite sex were entirely peculiar. I fancied that I was a prisoner and absolutely in a woman’s power, and that this woman used her power to hurt and abuse me in every way possible. In this, whipping and blows played an important part in my fancy, and there were many other acts and situations which all expressed the condition of vassalage and subjection. I saw myself constantly kneeling before my ideal, trod upon, loaded with chains, and imprisoned. Severe punishments of all kinds were inflicted on me, to test my obedience and please my mistress. The more severely I was humiliated and abused, the more I indulged in these thoughts. (At the same time I developed a great preference for velvet and fur, which I liked to touch and smooth, and which likewise excited me sexually.)

I remember well that when a child I received many actual whippings at the hands of females. They never caused me any other feeling than pain and shame; never have I thought to connect such realities with my fancies. A threat to punish me severely and correct me agitated me painfully; but in my fancy I assumed a desire on the part of my “mistress” to enjoy my suffering and humiliation, which entranced me. Too, I have never brought into relation with my fancies the acts and orders of the females that have taken care of me. I was early able to discover the truth about the relation of the sexes; but this knowledge made no impression on me. The idea of sensual pleasure remained connected with the fancies with which it was originally associated. I also had the desire to touch females, to embrace and kiss them, but I looked for the greatest delight only in their maltreatment, and in situations in which they would cause me to feel their power. I soon came to realize that I differed from other men, and preferred to be alone and absorbed in my dreams. In my boyhood, real girls and women had but little interest for me; for I saw no possibility of having them act in the way I desired. On lonely paths in the forest I whipped myself with branches