Page:Principles of Psychology (1890) v1.djvu/288

268 268 PSYGHOLOGT. ucated ; and I remember distinctly that it was at least two years before this time that I began to ask myself the question as to the origin of the universe. My age was then about eight, not over nine years. "Of the form of the earth, I had no idea in my childhood, except that, from a look at a map of the hemispheres, I inferred there were two immense disks of matter lying near each other. I also believed the sun and moon to be round, flat plates of illuminating matter ; and for those luminaries I entertained a sort of reverence on account of their power of lighting and heating the earth. I thought from their coming up and going down, travelling across the sky in so regular a manner that there must be a certain something having power to govern their course. I believed the sun went into a hole at the west and came out of another at the east, travelling through a great tube in the earth, de- scribing the same curve as it seemed to describe in the sky. The stars seemed to me to be tiny lights studded in the sky. ' ' The source from which the universe came was the question about which my mind revolved in a vain struggle to grasp it, or rather to fight the way up to attain to a satisfactory answer. When I had occupied myself with this subject a considerable time, I perceived that it was a matter much greater than my mind could comprehend ; and I remem- ber well that I became so appalled at its mystery and so bewildered at my inability to grapple with it that I laid the subject aside and out of my mind, glad to escape being, as it were, drawn into a vortex of inex- tricable confusion. Though I felt relieved at this escape, yet I could not resist the desire to know the truth ; and I returned to the subject ; but as before, I left it, after thinking it over for some time. In this state of perplexity, I hoped all the time to get at the truth, still believing that the more I gave thought to the subject, the more my mind would pene- trate the mystery. Thus I was tossed like a shuttlecock, returning to the subject and recoiling from it, till I came to school. " I remember that my mother once told me about a being up above, pointing her finger towards the sky and with a solemn look on her coun- tenance. I do not recall the circumstance which led to this communica- tion. When she mentioned the mysterious being up in the sky, I was eager to take hold of the subject, and plied her with questions concern- ing the form and appearance of this unknown being, asking if it was the sun, moon, or one of the stars. I knew she meant that there was a living one somewhere up in the sky ; but when I realized that she could not answer my questions, I gave it up in despair, feeling sorrowful that I could not obtain a definite idea of the mysterious living one up in the sky. ' ' One day, while we were haying in a field, there was a series of heavy thunder-claps. I asked one of my brothers where they came from. He pointed to the sky and made a zigzag motion with his finger, signifying lightning. I imagined there was a great man somewhere in the blue vault, who made a loud noise with his voice out of it ; and each time I