Page:Principia Discordia (Loompanics Unlimited edition).pdf/95

 G.H. Hill: Since then I have given up anarchy. Too many rules -- hating the government and all that stuff.

IGNOTUM PER IGNOTIUS: It's like hating your own fantasies.

Malik: [Anarchy] is also standing up and proceeding forward, fantasy rule or not. The condition is the same.

Occupant: Brother needs some wine!

Malik: We have had this argument before, Reverend Doctor Brother. But wine before platitudes, fill it up.

Gypsie [to Hill]: And pacifism?

Hill: I'm not sure I ever was one. Mal2 was not, Malik was. Personally I accepted self defense yet I could never reconcile that with the ideal. I finally gave up on that one too. Actually I just gave up on idealism.

Ignotius: Idealism lives with rules. Realism lives with rocks.

Hill: Yeah. I get along better with rocks.

Malik: Mal2 once told me that pacifism was a dilemma. If everybody was a pacifist then everything would be perfect. But nobody is going to be a pacifist unless I am first. But if I am and somebody else is not, then I get screwed. He said that there were five choices under that circumstance. The first was napalming farmers and the second was executing your parents. The third was hypocrisy, the fourth was cowardice, and the fifth was to swallow the dilemma. Zenarchists are trained in dilemma swallowing.

Occupant: So are other Erisians, like POEE.

Ignotius: That is characteristic of the Discordian perspective.

Hill: But of course training contradicts Discordian principles.

Malik: Oh so what. Contradictions are nothing to Discordians.

Occupant: Dilemma, Schlimemma. [to Gypsie]: What do you think of this, pretty ma'am? We don't get to hear your thoughts.

Gypsie: I'm reporting now, you talk.

Occupant: Later then?