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The Initiate swears the following:

FLYING BABY SHIT!!!!!

(Brothers of the Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria sect may wish to substitute the German: FLIEGENDE KINDERSCHEISSE! or perhaps WIECZNY KWIAT WTAZDA!!!!! which is Ewige Blumenkraft in Polish.)

THE RECENT EXPOSÉ THAT MR. MOMOMOTO, FAMOUS JAPANESE WHO CAN SWALLOW HIS NOSE, CANNOT SWALLOW HIS NOSE BUT HIS BROTHER CAN, HAS BEEN EXPOSED! IT MR. MOMOMOTO WHO CAN SWALLOW HIS NOSE. HE SWALLOWED HIS BROTHER IN THE SUMMER OF '44.

Corrections to last week’s copy: Johnny Sample is offensive cornerback for the New York Jets, not fullback as stated. Bobby Tolan’s name is not Randy, but mud. All power to the people, and ban the fucking bomb.