Page:PracticeOfChristianAndReligiousPerfectionV1.djvu/83

 the Lives  of  the  Ancient  Fathers,  saying,  that  a  certain  woman finding her  son  desirous  to  become  a  religious,  endeavoured  all she could  to  hinder  his  executing  this  good  design,  laying  before him all  she  thought  might  serve  to  prevent  him;  but  the  young man, continuing  still  firm  in  his  holy  resolution,  made  no  other answer to  all  the  difficulties  and  objections  his  mother  urged,  but only this,  I  will  save  my  soul. At last,  his  mother  seeing  she could prevail  on  him,  neither  by  reason  nor  importunity,  left  him to his  own  choice;  and  so  the  young  man  took  the  habit  of religion. But this  first  fervour  cooling  afterwards,  he  began  to live  so  negligently  that  there  could  scarce  be  found  any  trace  of that  zeal  he  had  at  first  shewn  for  heavenly  things. Soon after, his mother  died,  and  he  fell  sick  of  a  very  dangerous  fever,  in which,  lying  in  a  trance,  he  fancied,  that  he  was  carried  before God's great  tribunal,  where  he  saw  his  mother,  with  many  others, expecting the  sentence  of  their  condemnation;  and  that  his mother, looking  upon  him,  and  perceiving-  that  he  was  of  the number of  those  who  were  to  be  condemned;  "  Alas!  son,"  said she, "what  is  become  of  that  good  resolution,  and  that  sentence you  so  often  heretofore  repeated  to  me,  ''I  will  save  my  soul? Was  it  to  become  a  lost  soul  that  you  made  yourself  a  religious?" This reproach  of  his  mother  put  him  into  so  great  a  confusion, that he  could  not  tell  what  to  reply. At last  awaking  from  this trance, and  permitted  by  God  to  recover  from  that  sickness,  he began  to  consider  that  the  vision  he  had  had  was  certainly  a warning  from  God;  which  wrought  such  a  change  in  him,  that he spent  all  the  rest  of  his  life  in  tears,  and  continual  penance. Many endeavoured  to  persuade  him  to  moderate,  and  abate  some part of  his  great  austerities  and  mortifications,  lest  he  should destroy his  health  by  them;  but  he  rejected  all  their  advice, saying, "Alas!  if  I  could  not  bear  those  reproaches  of  my  mother how  shall  I  be  able  to  bear  those  that  will  be  made  me  by  Jesus Christ,  and  his  blessed  angels,  on  the  terrible  day  of  judgment?" (Dion. Cart.  art.  30  de  quatuor  novis.)