Page:Popular Science Monthly Volume 92.djvu/543

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the reports from this institution proved extremely valuable to the Kaiser's forecasters, until the British government discovered the fact and sent a man-of-war to put this Arctic outpost out of business.

It is humiliating to confess that the Entente countries were much slower in mobilizing their weather men, but they are now making up for lost time, and all of them have efficient military meteorological services, supplementing the weather bureaus of peace times. In the British Army there are meteorological units attached to the Royal Engineers. The Italians have established a dense network of weather stations along their battle front. Our own army has a strong meteorological section, under the Signal Corps, officered by experts of the United States Weather Bureau.

For such undertakings there is only one precedent, and it is pleasant to record that the United States Government was the pioneer. During the Spanish-American War our Weather Bureau established a chain of observation stations around the Caribbean Sea, cabled reports from which were the means of protecting the American fleet from unpleasant surprises in the shape of West India hurricanes.

However, all the weather forecasters in the world will not be able to nullify the consequences of cutting the Belgian dykes, and so there will probably be mud, and mud, and mud, to the end of the war—and, likely enough, after that! So let the final word of this muddy article be—MUD!

OUR money back, ladies, if this furniture polish is not exactly as I claim it to be.

"That's what I said—your money cheerfully refunded if you fail to find this polish the greatest labor-saving—"

"Look here, mister—you sold me a bottle of that polish last week and I am not at all pleased with it."

"Did you purchase your bottle from me, madam?"

"You know you sold it to me—why—"

"Oh—yes! I recall it now—How—"

Every shopper in the immediate vicinity is by this time attracted to the scene by the controversy.

"Did you follow the directions carefully, lady?"

"I didn't read the directions."

"Well—how can you expect results—"

"Yes. I admit I may have used the polish the wrong way. Do you mind showing me how you—"

"Certainly—to be sure—no trouble at all."

With a few rapid applications of the polish, the demonstrator converts the surface of a badly stained piece of mahogany into a bright, glossy, object.

During the entire performance no one succeeded in locating the sweet-voiced complainant. The fact is both voices came from the demonstrator who is a ventriloquist.