Page:Popular Science Monthly Volume 89.djvu/723

 Popular Science Monthly

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���The hen at the left has not been harnessed with the end in view of giving the children a ride. She has submitted to the indignity of a "setting preventer." When she attempts to climb into a nest and settle down, the imagination of the reader can supply her sub- sequent astonishment and chagrin. Will the rooster at the right scratch up the new garden? Not after he tries it with this leg attachment designed to prevent just that performance

��have a creed, or a set of poultry com- mandments struck off from the press and distributed gratis, or at small cost, so that the gallus domesticiis could memorize them, and culti\ate her mind?

Differences of opinion might arise regarding the necessary content of this creed; but after thoughtful examination of the available material secured from the Patent Office, the following resolu- tions which en- compass all the important points have been drawn up:

"I will iKjt set when my master denies me that pleasure; neither will I fly maliciously out of the confines which my master has provided for me; I will render a correctly audited account of the number of eggs laid by my humble self in the week; and all of these eggs shall bear my personal trademark; I will lie in a posture according to the will of my merciful master, awaiting sacrifice, mov- ing neither head nor tail feather; never will I scratch up the gardens which the Lord seemingly provideth not forme ; e\'er will I tread in the paths wired off for me, bringing forth the young of m\- species whenever it is demanded of me, and sitting uncomplainingly upon glass eggs, door-knobs and other objects

���This rooster is not attending a poultry school, despite the evidence to the con- trary, which the goggles create. A thought- ful inventor has simply provided him with a protection for his eyes. It can be seen that the rooster appreciates this courtesy highly. Strangely, the lady hen to the left seems on the point of fainting at sight of her husband's odd appearance

��which my master kindh" pro\ides for me. Yea, verily, I will walk in the cow-paths of glory, looking neither to my ^^ right nor to my left, nor winking i^\ anv eve-lid, thus that m>- sacred name shall be saved from the unutter- able disgrace into which it has been dragged b},- my un- feathercd sisters in the great, ungodly cities."

One of the heart- iest laughs we have ever wrung from a joke-book was re- centh' unearthed from what is oc- casionally thegrcat- est of all joke-l)ooks — the Patent Office Gazette. Thcjokein I^oint had to do with an enterprisingappa- ratusdevised to prevent the hen ambitious to set from realizing her ambitions. 1 1 com- prised a dozen eggs all of which were con- nected together by means of short lengths

���When the chicken is caught its legs are clamped, making it helpless and passive

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