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546 brains more than mere brick-and-mortar. When we decided to get brains, he again annoyed us, saying that we ought not to employ professors until we were sure of our ability to pay them. Such inconsistencies were naturally self-destructive; so we listened politely to his wild and extravagant ideas, then quietly ignored whatever he said, and did as we had previously determined. Other colleges had fine buildings, contracted debts, and worked on the sure foundations of faith, hope, and (to be received) charity. We would follow the common example, and succeed. To this Brother A added that other colleges sometimes failed, and so might ours; but I, for one, could not understand the relevancy of the remark.

So the board agreed, with but one dissenting voice, to appoint a Faculty. The next step led to squabbles. Every member had some protégé to provide for; each one desired that certain chairs should be established and others omitted—no two could agree altogether. First, of course, we decided to choose a president, for a college without a president would be like a house without a roof. We would, therefore, appoint a president, and then let him advise us what to do next; although taking his advice might be quite another matter. As was to be expected. Brother A again interfered, saying that a president would be a useless expense; that he would merely draw the highest salary and do the least work of any member of the Faculty. To sustain his arguments he called our attention to the fact that the German universities have no presidents, whereupon I jocosely remarked that "they could afford no precedent for us." With their infidel tendencies they are indeed bad exemplars, and it would be a great pity if any free American institution should ever copy after them.

After a long and tedious discussion we at last fixed our choice upon a prominent Eastern clergyman, and offered him the splendid salary of $2,500 dollars a year. His parish, however, paid him $6,000, and so he gratefully declined our proposition. Several other ventures resulted in the same way, and thus three months passed with nothing accomplished. Finally, the lightning struck in a most unexpected quarter, and I, the humble writer of these pages, was really chosen President of Virtue University. This choice was opposed by Brother A with more than his usual bitterness; why, I never could quite understand. He disclaimed all personal feeling in the matter, professed great esteem for me, and all that sort of thing, but thought I was hardly qualified for the place. He pointed out that I had had no experience in educational affairs; that I was a graduate, not of a college, but only of a theological seminary; and stoutly maintained that we ought to choose either a thoroughly-trained educator or nobody at all. Now, it was well known that I had successfully, not to say brilliantly, served several terms upon the school committee; and also that I had once been chaplain of a small college in the northern part of the State. These facts, coupled with the shrewd suspicion that Brother