Page:Poetical Works of John Oldham.djvu/122

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 * 'And now 'tis time I should instructions give,

What wiles and cheats the rabble best deceive. Each age and sex their different passions wear, To suit with which requires a prudent care: Youth is capricious, headstrong, fickle, vain, Given to lawless pleasure, age to gain; Old wives, in superstition overgrown, With chimney-tales and stories best are won; 'Tis no mean talent rightly to descry, What several baits to each you ought apply. The credulous and easy of belief With miracles and well-framed lies deceive; Empty whole Surius and the Talmud; drain Saint Francis, and Saint Mahomet's Alcoran; Sooner shall popes and cardinals want pride, Than you a stock of lies and legends need.
 * 'Tell how blessed Virgin to come down was seen,

Like playhouse punk descending in machine; How she writ billet-doux, and love-discourse, Made assignations, visits, and amours; How hosts, distressed, her smock for banner bore, Which vanquished foes, and murdered at twelve score. Relate how fish in conventicles met, And mackerel were with bait of doctrine caught; How cattle have judicious hearers been, And stones pathetically cried Amen! How consecrated hive with bells was hung, And bees kept mass, and holy anthems sung; How pigs to the rosary kneeled, and sheep were taught To bleat Te Deum and Magnificat; How flyflap of church-censure houses rid Of insects, which at curse of friar died; How travelling saints, well mounted on a switch, Ride journeys through the air, like Lapland witch; And ferrying cowls religious pilgrims bore, O'er waves without the help of sail or oar. Nor let Xavier's great wonders pass concealed, How storms were by the almighty wafer quelled;