Page:Poet Lore, volume 34, 1923.djvu/539

 her acknowledge me worthy of her condescension, when these seemed to make her willing to accept my love, which I had never betrayed even by a quiver of an eyelash, I made up my mind that I should take her and tame her,—win her first, and then force her to love me for myself, alone. It was after our first ride together that I received her first kiss on the promise that I should apply for active service. I never planned to violate that promise, but I determined to let things take their natural course. I loved her terribly. Here on this couch I was afraid to move my lips lest I should lose the fragrance of that first kiss. I loved her insanely, but at the same time I loathed the thought of military service. I knew that if I let things take their course, I should never be accepted for service. I permitted myself to marry her with military pomp at Sopote, obediently I kept taking her to official gatherings, and ostentatiously I welcomed the visits of officers here.

Lena.—Yes, all turned out exactly as in my father’s case.

Burris.—All this in the assurance that my day of triumph would come. It came, with a vengeance!

Lena.—It does seem that you overdid it.

Burris.—I overdid it.

Lena.—But you must know that while you were preparing your triumph, she manipulated you as a plaything in her hands. Mr. Karl, I never meant to tell you, but I see that it is necessary. You must know that she, too, had her plans for your capture well laid beforehand. As early as that first evening when you had supper with us. After you had left she jokingly, although as she proved afterwards, with a perfectly serious mind, asked me for my consent to marry you.

Burris.—Don’t think that surprises me! (With sudden grief.) But what does all this signify in comparison with the fact that over there a mother presses to her heart a dead babe! Whom I through my thoughtlessness killed before he was born! I imagined yesterday that the time for action had come, but I realize now that I should have waited till after the safe arrival of that little colleague of mine. I could have delayed a little longer, I could have dissembled farther, I could have promised; but the main thing is that I should have gone with her yesterday to Sopote I feared the operation lest he should be born without a father; but now it is evident it would have been better so.