Page:Poet Lore, volume 21, 1910.djvu/471

 Maya.—I know it. He did not say anything, but I know it.

Kocianova (crushed down).—Just God!

Maya.—And that is why I am going to talk him out of it. Because it is my fault. Look! I have not your faith, but at this moment I feel that in our souls there must not be even a shade of insincerity if we would do something really pure and great. Before I speak with Petr I must tell you everything. I must confess to you just as you confess your little sins to your priests. In all my life I have fought against hypocrisies and dissimulations, and even now I also feel that I could never be victorious over Petr if I should not tell you the truth. And that is why I am confessing to you with ardent sincerity. It is for my sake that Petr wants to do this. I have caused it, Mrs. Kocianova. Can you forgive me?

Kocianova.—But that is not possible. That is not possible.

Maya (wholly decided).—It is more than possible. It is the truth. When after so many years I came back to you, I could not understand what a chasm divides us. It was all like a dream to me, like the return of my childhood. I did not want to understand. I only wanted to enjoy the returning memories of my early childhood. It was an exquisite, ardent delight to me that all the feelings of my beautiful days were returning to me here, and I spoke with Petr as sincerely as we did in our childhood days. I did not see that abyss which in the mean time had divided us, but I offered him both my hands across it. Even I felt dizzy for a while. But he is reeling. And if he falls into that abyss it will be my doing.

Kocianova (crying, sinks on the bench).

Maya (after a pause).—Before I leave here for good I will try to save him. Ach. God. Only a moment ago I thought that I would be able to do it. And what if I shall not be able to? If I am not, you will all be unhappy. And ought it to be, that I should go away from here leaving you to remember me with love, with sincerity, and without bitterness? No, I will not have that, my golden, my dear Mrs. Kocianova. You shall have known it, you shall have known it from me, no matter what will happen. (Pause.) If you could know what pain it causes my heart when I see you so downcast! (Sits down beside her.) My dear, dear maminka. (Kisses her.)

Kocianova.—May God forgive you! And may the Lord strengthen you with His blessings! Let us hope that you will suc-