Page:Pleased to Meet You (1927).pdf/157

 liamentary procedure of the Ohio Federation of Women's Clubs. Through clenched teeth she murmured the sanative and gracious ritual. ''Minutes of the Last Meeting. Reports of Committees. Special Business. The Literary Program. Madam President, we have with us the distinguished British poet''—Already the Illyrian ladies had begun to stare and whisper, a buzz of scandalized sensation to pass round the room. Then the Colonel, who had seen the crisis, deftly slipped through the throng. He broke every rule of high etiquette by cutting in on the President's partner and unwound the spell by a few resolute twirls in the opposite direction. One on each arm he led the collapsing pair to the coolness of a window. He lent Frau Quackenbush a handkerchief, her own having slipped too far down to be decently retrievable; from his pocket he produced the forgotten hay fever atomizer and sprayed the panting President.

"Ha! My interpretations!" gasped Herr Guadeloupe. "Vere are you all dese years? Frau Quackenbush, you are phenomenon I never for-