Page:Philochristus, Abbott, 1878.djvu/353

Rh passionate questionings, each asking whether he himself was to be the traitor; but Jesus made no certain answer, none at least that I heard. At the last, before rising from the table, Jesus looked earnestly upon us all, as if his heart went out to us: and he pitied us, and said that he would now give us his last gift; for this feast was as a funeral feast, and he was to die and leave us alone; therefore, before he died, he desired to bequeath to us somewhat by his last will and testament.

While we marvelled what this gift or legacy might be, behold, Jesus took bread and blessed God, and brake it and gave it to each of us, saying, "Take, eat, this is my body." After this he took wine and blessed that likewise, and bade us drink of it, saying, "This is my blood of the New Testament, which is shed for many." So we ate and drank as we were bidden, even like children that have no understanding; nor did we then discern the meaning of his words. Howbeit, even at that time we understood somewhat of his purpose; for we perceived that Jesus was pouring his love, yea, and his life, into our hearts; and our souls stretched out as it were toward the truth, namely, that Jesus, in this testament of his, was bequeathing himself to us his disciples, to be our possession for ever.

Now all the other disciples were strangely moved, insomuch that their hearts were melted with the fervency of their love; but Judas alone was unmoved. Yea, rather he was moved indeed, but in a manner quite contrary to the rest. For when Jesus reached unto him the bread, all eyes were upon him, for we could not now refrain from suspecting him: but he ate it against his will, and as though he ate it with difficulty; and when he had eaten it, he looked angrily at us that gazed still upon him, and then he rose up in haste from the table, like unto one possessed with Satan. Now while he was eating, Jesus beheld him