Page:Peterson's Magazine 1842, Volume I.pdf/180

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I felt it was an honor to be loved by one who thought thus,

I have said he had a lofty. notion of the female cha- racter. He disliked much of that which fashion tole rates; especially was he an enemy to waltzing, Often have I heard him say that he could never Jove a woman who would suffer an almost total stranger to encircle her waist in this amusement,’ How I feared lest eome ‘one would whisper to him.that I had once indulged in this pastime merely to bring new victims to my toils. But happily we met while { was on a visit to @ neigh- boring cily, where there were few to betray me. Yet the consciousness that I was deoeiving hin was always a thorn in my bosom, and often would I have tolil him all if I bud dared, Ah! never expect to win or retain aifection by such means. My punishment was at hand,

‘The time came, at length, at which I was to roturn home, and 2 large party was given in honor of me a few days prior 10 my leaving ‘the cily. Among the guests was a genticman who resided in our village. I trembled, 1 acarcely knew why, when I eaw him enter—I trembled more when he advanced toward me and asked me to waltz, I declined. He scemed somewhat surprised ; but I said nothing. Albert had overheard his request, and evinced, T thought, some surprise in his countenance, that an old friend, who must have known my sentiments, should have asked me to wultz.

“Tam so glad you have come,” said J, taking his arm, “for Mr. Carleton has bean asking me to waltz, He is one of your quiing kind, and is over pestering me on the subject”

T felt my cheek bum as I attered this untruth, but I feared that Albert’s suspicions had been aroused, and it wus necessary to allay them. His reply shewed me that my consciousness of guilt had awakened unnecessary fears.

«Lam surprised at the rudehess of Mr. Carleton in pressing you about a subject, on which he knows your opinions, Let us,” he continued, in tone that con- vinced me he had entertained no suspicion of the truth, + Jet us promenade!”

In lege than a week I took a tearful farewell of P—, and retumed to my native village. Tt was October when I reached home, and Albert was to follow me in the spring. Until then I bad to content myself with his letters instead of himself—letters, which how- ever dear, were nothing to the eloquent voice of the writer,

I had heard often through the newspapers of the triumph of my adored Albert at tho bar and in the Senate; for he hed already entered political life, and ‘was foremost in his party for talents and populerity. How my heart beat, how my eyes swam whon I perused the accounts of tho effect produced hy his eloquence. His success endeared him more and more to my heart :

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T felt as if his triumphs wero my own, and my pride rose in proportion. .

But much as I worshipped Albert my vanity was still strong within me, and I had been but @ few months at home before my iove of admiration led me into many acts of which my conscience told me he would disap- prove. At first my remorme waa great, when, after spending en evening abroad, I returned to my chamber with the consciousness of having, in-the excitement of company, sought as of old to attract admirers by those arty which I know Albert dewpised, and which he decmed me above descending to; but gradually this wore off, and by the time the winter was at its height, I was as eager as ever for the applause of sale, as full of the arts of the coquetto as I was before Albert had taught me to love, Often, however, I felt remorse for my conduct, and resolved to be really what may lover supposed me to be. But my vanity slweys triumphed ; and 1 consoled my more selfich fears by the thought that he could never tearn my conduct. 5

Tt was in the full tide of the annual round of parties which the winter brought with it, that I was invited to attend a ball at a neighboring village. I went of course, Mr. Carleton who had lately come into possession of a splendid fortune was there, and was the mark to which all the designing belles directed their charms,” He was ignorant of my engagement with Albert, for the matter had been kept a profound secret, and on this evening my vanity was elevated by the particularity of the attentions ho paid to me. 1 felt that I was envied by nearly all tay sex in the room, and my spirits rose in proportion at my silly triumph, At length Mr. Carleton asked me to waltz, For a moment I hesitated, since, far ax may folly had gone, it had not led me heretofore to break Albert’a exprese wish on this subject; but after reflecting that he could not possibly heor of it, and thinking bow it would add to ry present triumph, I consented; and with my partner’s arm fondly encircling my waist, and my breath mingling with his own, I was being whirled through this mazy dance, when, on [ooking up & mo- ment, as we approached the lower end of the room, I saw the face of Albert gazing on me in sorrow and surprise, He seemed to have just como in. As his eye caught mine an expression of mournful reproof, which was succeeded by a took of the keenest agony, passed across his fuco. I felt the room swim giddily around me, and uttering a stifled shriek, I sank in a dead faint to the floor. I recollect nothing more for days.

‘When I recovered my ecnsea I found myself lying on a sick-bed, with my dear mother watching tearfully beside me. She clasped me in her arms, and thanked heaven that I was still alive. Then, as my recollection returned to mo, and T eagerly asked if Albert had called, she drew me closer to her breast, and wept afresh. I

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