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'If you are, you are a very bad one.' 'You are an impudent follow. Who are yon, sir?' 'I am George, Duke of Montague.? It is al- most needless to add, that the haughty laird of                      Inverleith, after a very awkward apology, went off into the main road.

14. An American General was in company where there were some few Scotch. After sup- per, when the wine was served up, the general rose, and addressed the company in the following words: Gentlemen, I must inform you, that when I get a little groggish, I have an absurd custom of railing against the Scotch; I hope no                      gentleman in company will take it amiss.' With this he sat down. Up starts M. a Scotch officer, and without seeming the least displeased, said, Gentlemen, I, when I am a little grog- gish, and hear any person railing against the Scotch, have an absurd custom of kicking him out of the company: I hope no gentleman will take it amiss.' It is superfluous to add, that that night he had no occasion to exercise his talents.

A carpenter having neglected to make a gib- bet, (which was ordered by the executioner,) on                      the ground that he had not been paid for the last he had erected, gave so much offence, that the next time the judge came the circuit he was sent for. 'Fellow,' said the judge, in a stern tone, 'how came you to neglect making the gibbet that was ordered on my account? 'I