Page:Parodyoniolanthe.djvu/50

 EILA—Hold! If lolanthe must die, so must we all, for we are equally guilty.

UEEN—Equally guilty! (All kneel.) 

ORD S.—Pardon them. They could not help it. The ancient traditions surrounding railway officials were too much for them, and they married us.

UEEN—The traditions of our tribe must be imperative. They who marry mortals must die. There is no going back on the statutes.

OUNSELOR—Hold! I haven't been helping the public to obey the law all these years for nothing. Let me give your statute a whirl. (Looks it over.) Easy enough. Make it read that every fairy who marries outside the Alton Road shall die.

UEEN—Good idea. (Does it.) And now where 's Willis?

ILLIS—Tickets, please.

UEEN—Yes, for the matrimonial line. How would you like to be a fairy ticket-taker?

ILLIS—On the Chicago & Alton?

UEEN—That is the statute.

ILLIS—It is one of the oldest traditions of this road that none of its employés can possibly be ill-bred, particularly to a lady. I am yours.

UEEN—And now the only way to save our tribe from annihilation is for all you gentlemen to obey the law. Remember that any fairy who marries other than a Chicago & Alton man must die. (All shudder.) 

TREPHON—And I, being in the Alton Road, will immediately employ you all and absorb all your lines. It was bound to come to that sooner or later.

OUNSELOR—The old wife is better than no wife, so here we all go to fairyland.