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 UEEN—The comfort of your passengers must be your primary consideration. ''(Very solemnly.) You will also be forced to run your trains according to your advertised time-table. ''

LL—(Shriek)—Oh, spare us! spare us!

UEEN—And now depart. When next your council meets, Strephon will be one of you.

ILLIS— (Sings.)  I often think it 's comical, How nature always does incline To place the best of all its boys That 's born into this world of mine In the road that only such employs— The great Chicago & Alton Line.

EILA—(Who has been attracted by the officers)—Charming persons, are they not? EILA—They do very well, considering whom they work for. In Alton uniforms they would look very well.

ORD BEESEEKEW—Well, we have done our best to imitate Alton, but it seems to be a failure. Why not stop this disgusting protégé of yours

EILA—(Crying)—We can't stop him. The road has made too much headway. It is harder to kill than a Presidential boom in Indiana. (Aside.) How beautiful they all are!