Page:Paine--J Archibauld McKaney collector of whiskers.djvu/78

  majestic beard promised to supply a musical note of rare power and resonance, and I had been very patient with his infirmities of temper. But as he entered the library at the head of the three octaves, he bellowed at me in a stormy voice:

"I ain't going to be treated in this ridikilus fashion. I'll take my whiskers and go home. I didn't expect to be herded with a passel of looneytics and used as a gosh-whanged Æolian harp."

My most tactful efforts finally subdued him, and I mention the incident only to show the kind of trials I had to contend with at this time. As simply as possible I explained to the company the theory of sound vibration and the application of these proven facts to the Human Whisker. They listened with respectful interest, although their eyes could not help wandering to study the long lines of framed photographs and paintings on my walls, which exhibited the choicest specimens of my unique collection of whiskers, wild and tame.

At length I led them upstairs, and after 60]