Page:Paine--J Archibauld McKaney collector of whiskers.djvu/193

   and noted that the tribesmen were giving the school house a wide berth, or, if their business took them past it, they went to a good deal of trouble to hide their whiskers. I reflected with bitterness that at this rate they would begin cutting their whiskers off before many moons. At length Miss Barnstable beckoned me to a bench under a nearby tree and said very firmly:

"Mr. J. Archibald McKackney, I cannot leave this island by swimming, and as long as I am compelled to remain here I propose to follow the path of Duty that lies plain before me. And I shall do everything in my power to persuade Mr.—er—King Wilkins I to abandon his hideous whiskers, and to abolish them root and branch among his misguided subjects. And you are helping this idolatrous Whisker Cult as its High Priest. I have made a beginning with my school children, who repeat in chorus each day:

We'll never, never use the weed That bad men smoke and chew: [175