Page:Paine--J Archibauld McKaney collector of whiskers.djvu/176

  among the rare species of the Human Whisker. To think of visiting this island, where whiskers were encouraged and cherished by custom, tradition and the stimulus of ambition, fired my soul with unbounded ardor. And with Hank Wilkins as ruler, by grace of his peerless Titian beard, there would be no limit to my novel investigations. I hastened to console the shipwrecked parent and my voice rang with enthusiasm:

"Never fear, Lemuel Wilkins. You are the sire of the genuine Hair Apparent. We shall sail for the Indian Ocean on the first steamer out of England. And when Hank Wilkins has come into his kingdom, you shall be summoned as Prime Minister, and you shall be allowed to boil the deposed monarch to death in a laundry tub. And meantime you and Four-handed Jacob shall be liberally pensioned." 158]