Page:Oscar Ameringer - Socialism for the Farmer (1912).djvu/10

 "Go easy," replied Ploot, "I am not in business for the fun of it. This bridge cost oodles of spondulix. Am I not entitled to a reward for my abstinence for not having eaten this bridge? Besides the land on which these pillars rest belongs to me and surely I ought to have some rent for the use of it. Then too I must have a little profit on my investment in this clothing stock. Therefore go hence and fetch me three more pigs.

"One for interest,

"One for rent, and,

"One for profit."

The food raiser departed with a sorely puzzled mind to do as he was told.

From the other side of the river approached a garment maker with a new suit of clothes slung over his arm. As soon as he spied the fat man on the bridge he cried, "My stomach is as empty as a summer resort in January. It growls until the echoes reverberate on the walls. Have mercy upon me and give me a porker to still the voice in my innards. O! mighty Ploot, take this garment and give me food."

Thereupon the Ploot handed to the garment maker five plunks and bade him to return and fetch three more garments. The poor worker looked flabbergasted at this, but Ploot only said:

"One for interest,

"One for rent, and

"One for profit."

The garment man was too hungry to argue the case, so he took himself hence to do as he was told.

When the food raiser and garment worker returned next day, the one with three pigs and the other with three suits of clothes, Ploot gave each one fifteen shining plunks. Then he sold the pig to the hungry tailor for twenty plunks and the suit of clothing to the shivering food raiser for the same sum.

These were prosperous times and business was brisk. The two workers had earned twenty plunks apiece. One departed with a pig, and the other with a new suit. Both were happy and so was Ploot, for he had not only gotten all his money back but three suits of clothes and three pigs in the bargain.

All the Slamericans went through the same transaction every time they needed food and clothing and so it happened that Ploot often got more than he could eat or wear. At such times he would lock the gates to the bridge and hang out a sign saying, "Closed on account of over production." But the