Page:Oregon Historical Quarterly volume 17.djvu/149



DIARY 141

Fri. June 27. Copied a long communication for the Advo- cate. Found peace in believing.

Sat. June 28. 31 years of my almost useless life are like a fable gone. Once I sincerely wished that I had never seen the light but bless the Lord it is otherwise with me now and I thank God that I was ever born of the flesh that I might be born of the spirit. It is hardly probible that I shall see 31 years more but be that as it may I trust that the residue of my days will be spent more to the glory of God and the good of the world than those that have already passed. O my God help me to redeem time. It seems that I am doing nothing and under existing circumstances can do nothing for- thee; Lord open a door for usefulness and give me a heart to labour to promote thy glory and the ultimate salvation of my fellow creatures.

Sunday, June 29.- This day seems more like Sabbath than any since I left St. Louis, and though far from God's visible Temple and the soul cheering and spirit exhilarating ordi- nances of his house yet he whose presence fills the temple and gives it all its charms and all its attractions is here and "He makes our paradise. And where he is is heaven."

Mon. June 30, 1834. Laboured hard making halters of Buffalo hide and though it was my first attempt yet I suc- ceeded in making two I think preferable to any that I have seen. Finished some of my letters. While writing past scenes came fresh to my recollection and cases [causes] me to wish to hear from my friends.

Tues. July 1, 1834. This day sealed a long communication to the Editors of the Advocate one to Dr. Fisk one to Dr. Bangs one to Bro. Tabor and one to Sister Achash (?) and carried them down to Wm. Subletted Camp and he kindly took charge of them. May they safely reach those for whom they are designed. Took my leave of Mr. Sublette and Mr. Fitzpatrick & Christie and they all wished me success express- ing a hope that we might [meet] again in this country. But