Page:Once a Week Jul - Dec 1859.pdf/552

 24, 1859.] British public  should  suggest  that  there  were  modest cows in  the  pasturages  he  was  flying  by,  and young corruptible  heifers,  I have  only  to  remark that Mr. Saxon was  much  above  their  level. As it was  day,  moreover,  he  could  not  offend  the moon. Of course  I share  the  popular  belief  that we were  born  in  trousers,  and  never  get  out  of them. I would merely  observe  that  the  case  of Mr. Saxon was  an  exception  to  the  rigid  rule. Besides, since  he  was  only  relinquishing  one  pair to assume  another,  the  offence,  however  grievous, was but  momentary,  you  will  admit. Bad he  done all the  honours  to  the  renowned  modesty  of  this island, he  would  have  drawn  the  second  pair  over the first. I can only  excuse  his  not  doing  this by the  declaration  that  he  did  not  think  of  it,  and absolutely saw  no  harm  in  what  he  was  doing. So far then  we  will  exonerate  him. Unfortunately the thought of  a change  had  not  struck  him  till  he had  shot  ahead  some  miles. And, again,  very  un- fortunately, as we  say  when  he  would  cite instances clearly  fated,  the  young  gentleman  took off his  tight  flannels  before  he  opened  his  carpet- bag to disengage  his  thick  tweeds. Mr. Saxon  is of  somewhat  hasty  temperament,  slow  to  conceive — quick to  execute; a fine  quality  which  occasion- ally leads to  trouble; for  while  he  was  unstrap- ping his bag  the  train  insensibly  slackened  speed, and suddenly  stopped. On perceiving  this  alarm- ing fact, Mr.  Saxon  pulled  at  the  straps  with tremendous vigour  a second  or  so,  and  then looked out  of  the  window  with  a face  outwardly as composed  as  any  ordinary  traveller  with  no burden  on  his  mind  and  with  clothing  to  his  legs, may wear. What the  feelings  of  a bashful  man so placed,  must  have  been,  I need  not  tell  you. Analysis, if  we  wished  to  defend  him  before  a jury  of  prudes,  might  be  justifiable; but  you  will not require  it. Mr. Saxon’s heart  gave  a bound. There was  a lady  addressing  the  guard,  who pointed down  in  the  direction  of  Mr.  Saxon’s head, and  led  her  swiftly  on. Mr. Saxon  made  a final  effort  to  array  himself  in  one  or  the  other pair, gave  it  despairingly  up,  and  thought  it  best to block  the  window  and  look  extremely  unin- viting. He could  not  believe  that  his  fortune could be  so  cruel  as  to  send  this  lady  straight  to him  at  a time  when,  without  wishing  to  be  un- courteous, he  profoundly  devoted  her  to  Jericho. He was  forgetful  of  his  experience. Some men have a great  hoard  of  experience,  and  only  see it by  the  lurid  light  of  new  distresses. Now, Mr. Saxon  should,  no  doubt,  have  spoken  and  warned the lady  off. He stuttered, — I have  told  you. He did  speak,  but  he  was  unintelligible. The guard wrenched  at  the  door. Mr. Saxon  had  just time to  hide  his  nether-failings  under  a railway- rug, which  he  had  providentially  with  him,  when the door  opened  and  the  lady  became  his  com- panion. The train  whistled  blithely,  and  off they went.

“Now my  friend  Harry  Saxon  tells  me  he  con- siders it a curious  thing  that  the  lady,  after  a little  while,  began  to  regard  him  with  something like astonishment. But the  fact  does  not  sur- prise me, who  know  him. Nervousness is  a part  of bashfulness; and,  affected  by  nervousness,  we  are; apt,  without  knowing  it,  to  grimace  strangely. To speak metaphysically,  and  with  enlightened  obscurity, we  think  of  ourselves  to  such  an  excess, that we  grow  oblivious  of  our  actions. I dare say you  all  understand.

“M — adam! ’ said Harry,  after  several  im- potent efforts.

“The lady  replied,  ‘ Sir,’  or  ‘ Yes.’  He  chronicles it  exactly,  but  I forget.

“Ha. . . ha — are you  going  the  whole  way  to T Town? ’ said Harry,  gasping  and holding on  his  rug  with  both  hands.

“‘No, sir,’  said  the  lady,  haughtily,  coldly,  and shortly.

“‘What a blessing! ’ thought Harry,  sinking back.

“The lady  opened  a book.

“At the  next  station,  Harry  looked  at  her  im- ploringly. She would  not  go. Perhaps, thought Harry, she’s  going  on  to  the  last  station  but  one! There he  was  sure  the  carriage  would  be  filled.

“He begged  politely  of  her  to  tell  him  when  she intended to  quit  the  train.

“Really! ’ said the  lady. May I inquire, sir, why  you  are  so  anxious  to  know? ’

“‘Not at  all,’  said  Harry,  speaking  as  enig- matically as he  looked.

“The lady  resumed  her  reading. An old  gentle- man, with two  young  ladies,  now  entered  the carriage. Harry tightened  and  compressed  the rug, and  sat  glaring  at  them.

“‘At all  events,’  thought  Harry,  ‘they  can’t make mo  move.’  This  consolatory  notion  had hardly whispered  its  barren  comfort  to  him,  when  i a slight  shock  was  felt. He saved  himself  from going into  the  old  gentleman’s  arms. Happily, the ladies were  too  much  alarmed  to  notice  his  exces- sive discomposure.

“‘ What’s the  matter?’  said  the  old  gentleman.

“The train  had  come  to  a stand.

“‘ Oh! what is  it? ’ cried all  the  ladies.

“ Stop  a minute,  my  dears,’  said  the  old  gen- tleman. Don’t be  alarmed. Perhaps one  of  us had  better  get  out  and  speak  to  the  guard.’

“‘ Oh, papa,  you  shall  not  go! ’ exclaimed the young ladies: and  the  one  who  was  alone  ex- claimed,

“‘ Perhaps we  shall  be  safer  out  than  in.’

“The young  ladies  reiterated  that  their  papa should not  go. A common eye  was  directed  to Harry,  who  sat,  with  a fiery  face,  trying  to  appear perfectly unconscious.

“‘Well, if  I mayn’t  go,’  said  the  old  gentle- man, ‘ perhaps this  gentleman  will? ’

“Here was  a direct  appeal. Harry pretended not to  hear.

“‘ Oh! it must  be  something  dreadful! ’ cried the ladies.

“‘Will you  oblige  us,  sir?’  said  the  solitary lady, ‘ by  getting  out  and  speaking  to  the guard? ’

“She addressed  poor  Harry.

“ Mr. Saxon grimaced  horribly. ‘ I should be h - - - happy,’  he  began.

“‘ Just ask  him  if  there’s  any  apprehension  of    danger,’  said  the  old  gentleman,  thinking  that  i he  spoke  in  the  assenting  tense. I

“‘ I k - - - I k - - - can’t! ’ says Harry.

“The ladies  regarded  him  with  wonder. All