Page:On the border with Crook - Bourke - 1892.djvu/236

 and Joe Felmer "'lowed th' ole man was off his feed," but it was, in truth, only the summons sent him by Dame Nature that he had overdrawn his account, and was to be in the future bankrupt in health and strength. There was an unaccountable irritability about Jack, a fretfulness at the end of each day's climbing, which spoke more than words could of enfeebled strength and nervous prostration. He found fault with his cook, formerly his pride and boast. "Be-gosh," he remarked one evening, "seems t' me yer a-burnin' everything; next I know, ye'll be a-burnin' water." There were sarcastic references to the lack of "horse sense" shown by certain unnamed "shave-tail leftenants" in the command—shafts which rebounded unnoticed from the armor of Schuyler and myself, but which did not make us feel any too comfortable while the old veteran was around. Day by day, meal after meal, his cook grew worse, or poor Jack grew no better. Nothing spread upon the canvas would tempt Jack's appetite; he blamed it all on the culinary artist, never dreaming that he alone was at fault, and that his digestion was a thing of the past, and beyond the skill of cook or condiment to revive.

"He ain't a pastry cook," growled Jack, "nor yet a hasty cook, nor a tasty cook, but fur a dog-goned nasty cook, I'll back 'm agin th' hull Pacific Slope." When he heard some of the packers inveighing against Tucson whiskey, Jack's rage rose beyond bounds. "Many a time 'n oft," he said, "Arizona whiskey 's bin plenty good enough fur th' likes o' me; it 's good 's a hoss liniment, 'n it 's good 's a beverage, 'n I've tried it both ways, 'n I know; 'n thet's more 'n kin be said for this yere dude whiskey they gits in Dilmonico's." There wasn't a drop of stimulant as such, with the whole command, that I knew of, but in my own blankets there was a pint flask filled with rather better stuff than was ordinarily to be obtained, which I had been keeping in case of snake bites or other accidents. It occurred to me to present a good drink of this to Jack, but as I did not like to do this with so many standing around the fire, I approached the blankets upon which Jack was reclining, and asked: "See here, Jack, I want you to try this water; there's something very peculiar about it."

"Thet 's allers th' way with these yere shave-tail leftenants they 's gittin' in th' army now-a-days; allers complainin' about su'thin; water! Lor'! yer orter bin with me when I was minin' up