Page:On the border with Crook - Bourke - 1892.djvu/112

 *where else, but not with sufficient frequency to make a feature of the life of the place.

Once what threatened to open up as a most serious affair had a very ridiculous termination. A wild-eyed youth, thoroughly saturated with "sheep-herder's delight" and other choice vintages of the country, made his appearance in the bar of "Congress Hall," and announcing himself as "Slap-jack Billy, the Pride of the Pan-handle," went on to inform a doubting world that he could whip his weight in "b'ar-meat"—

"Fur ber-lud's mee color, I kerries mee corfin on mee back, 'N' th' hummin' o' pistol-balls, bee jingo, Is me-e-e-u-u-sic in mee ears." (Blank, blank, blank.)

Thump! sounded the brawny fist of "Shorty" Henderson, and down went Ajax struck by the offended lightning. When he came to, the "Pride of the Pan-handle" had something of a job in rubbing down the lump about as big as a goose-egg which had suddenly and spontaneously grown under his left jaw; but he bore no malice and so expressed himself.

"Podners (blank, blank, blank), this 'ere's the most sociablest crowd I ever struck; let's all hev a drink."

If the reader do not care for such scenes, he can find others perhaps more to his liking in the various amusements which, under one pretext or another, extracted all the loose change of the town. The first, in popular estimation, were the "maromas," or tight-rope walkers and general acrobats, who performed many feats well deserving of the praise lavished upon them by the audience. Ever since the days of Cortés the Mexicans have been noted for gymnastic dexterity; it is a matter of history that Cortés, upon returning to Europe, took with him several of the artists in this line, whose agility and cunning surprised those who saw them perform in Spain and Italy.

There were trained dogs and men who knew how to make a barrel roll up or down an inclined plane. All these received a due share of the homage of their fellow-citizens, but nothing to compare to the enthusiasm which greeted the advent of the genuine "teatro." That was the time when all Tucson turned out to do honor to the wearers of the buskin. If there was a man, woman, or child in the old pueblo who wasn't seated on one of