Page:Odds and ends, or, A groat's-worth of fun for a penny (2).pdf/8

8 by so violent a storm, that the mariners themselves gave the vessel over for lost, and expected every minute that she would either founder or go ashore. At this juncture a sailor observing one of the men- ials standing pale with fear at the cabin door, came up to him, and asked him if ever he had lain with the duchess. 'No,' says the poor fellow, frightened at such waggery in such & dangerous time. Why then,' says the tar, 'you have that pleasure to come; for by G---, we shall lie with her grace in less than half an hour.' The duke, who overheard this, when the storm was abated, and the danger was over, sent the fellow a handsome present, and forgave him the impudence of the jest.

ACCOMMODATION.-The following curious notice was affixed to the residence of a gentleman, whose premises had suffered by some nightly de- predators. —Notice, those persons who have been in the habit of stealing my fence for a considerable time past, are respectfully informed, that if agree- able to them it will be more convenient, to me if they steal my wood, and leave the fence for the present, and as it may be some little inconvenience getting over the paling, the gate is left open for their accommodation.

ANONYMOUS BAPTISM.---The late Mr. M'Cub- bin of Douglas, a most happy humourist, and who was seldom outwitted, had his gravity severely put to the test upon one occasion when officiating in a neighbouring congregation, by a rustic who was no less impudent than ignorant. After having administered the vows, and received the satisfactory nods, the clown reached up the child towards the pulpit to receive the initiatory sprinkling without either whispering the name or tendering a line to