Page:Odds and ends, or, A groat's-worth of fun for a penny (2).pdf/7

7 the answer.—'Oh, is that all?' rejoined the officer, and thereupon unbuttoned one of his breeches' pockets which the unwitting shopkeeper considered as an indication that the money was forthcoming, and with this pleasing anticipation let off the boy, who was soon out of the way. The gallant tactician observing the success of his plan, and having now had his hand in his pocket a sufficient length of time, deliberately re-buttoned up his treasure, and with suitable nonchalance laughed and rode away, to the no small amusement of the spectators, who raised a loud shout at the painful expense of the disappointed tradesman.

Being in company, and the 'Tuscan grape' producing more riot than concord, Foote saw one gentleman so far gone in debate as to throw the bottle at his antagonist's head, upon which, catching the missile in his hand, he restored the harmony of the company, by observing, that if the bottle was passed so quickly, not one of them would be able to stand out the evening.

A lady, seeing her lover running in great haste to meet her, observed to him, that he must be in a very great hurry to run so fast. 'Madam,' replied the lover, 'I was following my inclination.'

THE WEEPING WIDOW.

Lady B, who, in public, bewails her dead spouse,


 * While in private, her thoughts on another are turning;

Reminds us of lighting a fire with green boughs,


 * Which weep at one end, while the other is burning.

A Lord Lieutenant, going over to Ireland with his lady and family, was in his passage, overtaken