Page:Odds and ends, or, A groat's-worth of fun for a penny (2).pdf/5

5 roasting pig! Was ever such a matter as that At the hour appointed came the dish under a cover; and as cookee passed up the room to place it on the table, is the pig boiled or roasted ?' whispered every body in his ear. Not a word spake cookee; but, on uncovering the dish, the roasting pig was boiled sure enough; land Mrs P-n pronounced universally ' to be the most obedient wife in Dublin.'-(A true story, as, Pat would say.) MARCH or INTELLECT.-A gentleman the other day visiting Mr. Wood's school in Edinburgh, had a book put into his hand for the purpose of examining a class. The word inheritance occur- ring in the verse, the querist interrogated the youngster as follows: What is inheritance ? A. ' Patrimony': What is patrimony? A. 'Something left by a father.' What would you call it if left by a mother A. Matrimony."

What colours were the winds and waves the last tempest at sea ? Answer-The winds blew and the waves rose.

A gentleman walking along Parliament-street, towards the Abbey, overtook a butcher who had a tray filled with heads on his shoulder the butcher was humming a tune, and his light- heartedness induced the gentleman to observe to him, that he had more brains than most men. “Yes, Sir, said the butcher, I am carrying them to the House of Lords." Aye, aye,' said a by- stander, they are very much wanted there.

Sir Isaac Newton was once riding over Salis- bury plain, when a boy keeping sheep called to him, Sir, you had better make haste on, on you will get a wet jacket.' Newton, looking