Page:Odds and ends, or, A groat's-worth of fun for a penny (2).pdf/20

20, 'perhaps, six or seven shillings.' 'very weel, then,' replied the curmudgeon, 'just gi'e me the seven shillings.'

.-A decent highlander in Badenoch called lately upon the minister of the parish, and making his bow, hoped 'that Mr would look in at his house some day and christen a few bairns for him.' 'A few bairns!' exclaimed the minister, 'what way is that to speak, Donald; how many have you got?' 'Why, sir,' replied the other, 'there were three when I left the house, but I canna tell how many there may be since.'

.—A countryman whose master had two sons, being asked one day whether the youngest was married? replied, 'Yes.' 'Is the oldest married too? 'Na,' said the sagacious servant, 'ye ken he's the young laird; he canna get a wife till his father dies.'

A certain worthy divine from the north, who visits the general assembly of the kick of Scotland every year, has for time immemorial taken up his annual abode in a certain tavern in Edinburgh. This healthy mountaineer has an instinctive horror at all deleterious mixtures in human food, whether solid or liquid; and the reason he assigned for frequenting the above tavern was, that he could always command the luxury of fresh eggs to breakfast. These he always boiled himself, and would take none except he found them hot from the nest. This year he appeared as usual, like the bittern at her appointed time; but, unfortunately, he laid his forepaw on a couple of plump eggs, but quite cold, and apparently not laid yesterday. The man of the church waxed wroth, and summoned