Page:Odds and ends, or, A groat's-worth of fun for a penny (2).pdf/11

11 Mr. G.-Go away, sir, I will never employ any of your country again. Irishman.- Why, your honour ? sure we are good workers ? God bless you, do give me a job. Mr. G.--No, sir, I wont; for the last Irishman I employed died upon me, and I was forced to bury him at my own charge. Irishman.- Ah! your honour, you need not fear that of me, for I can get you a certificate that I never died in the employment of any master I ever served. There was no resisting. Poor Paddy got em- ployed at once, and remained a faithful servant until his master's death.

A Lazy Horse - Some time ago, a jolly farmer from D-went to Falkirk for 'sax furlots o' beans,' which he had trysted from a Carse farmer, near B-. After spending the day in dram- drinking and fun with his cronies, about the 'go- ing down of the sun' he bethought himself of step- ping home. The landlord of the S-public house, with the assistance of his stable-boy, got the beans, and what was more difficult still, the 'gudeman himsel" on horseback. So off Saunders got alwost galloping. Unluckily, however, at a sharp turning of the road on his route, down came our hero, beans an' a'. The whisky ( wae he till’t) had so deranged his powers of perception, that he mounted his bean-sack instead of his mare, that was standing at some distance, no doubt well pleased to see her master belabouring the bean- sack instead of her own bony protuberances. At this moment up comes one of his neighbours, who had, like himself, staid too long in Falkirk, and seeing a man riding on a sack in the middle of the road, at that time of the night, made a solemn