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10 pressed by the General's rapid approach, he pro- ceeded to the next order of his formula, 'shoulder arms. To add to his embarrassment, however, the arms moved not. The General, with his characteristic good-nature, suggested to the Com- mandant to speak in a louder tone, who, not a little indignant, repeated with a Stentorian voice, 'shoulder arms,' but all to no purpose; there stood the corps, dogged and motionless. Such a total apparent ignorance of the manual exercise, na- turally excited the chagrin of the Captain, and the astonishment of the General, to whom the former only a few days before had been puffing off the discipline of his corps. At length, the General having intimated his intention of reporting the corps, was about to leave the field, when a Ser- jeant with his 'halbert recovered,' stepped in front of the ranks, and addressed the General in the following terms:-'Plase your honour, General; don't think the corpse does not know its exercise as well as any sojers in the land. There is not min in the country knows how to use their arms, aye and their legs, too, bitter than those afore you; but since you must know the thruth, Sir, the min and the Captain of late have not been on spaking terms.'

WHO AND HOO,- A little girl lately brought a volume to a Glasgow librarian, with the following message : John sent me wi' this book, and he wants the next ane.' 'And who is John,' ques- tioned the man of books, to which the girl very readily answered, “he's gettin better." A CERTIFICATE EASILY Got.-As the late Mr G-, farmer at Duddingstone, once 'stood at his gate, an Irish lad came up to him and requested to be employed.