Page:ONCE A WEEK JUL TO DEC 1860.pdf/148

140 Until, with all her dewy hair Dissolved into a golden flame Of sunshine on the sunless air, She came to meet me as I came.

But in her face no sunlight shone; No sunlight, but the sad unrest Of shade, that sinks from zone to zone When twilight glimmers in the west.

What grief had touch’d her on the nerve? For grief alone it is, that stirs The full ineffable reserve Of quiet spirits such as hers:

Twas this—that we had met to part; That I was going, and that she Had nothing left but her true heart, Made strong by memories of me.

What wonder then, she quite forgot Her old repression and control, And loosed at once and stinted not The tender tumult of her soul?

What wonder, that she droop’d and lay In silence, and at length in tears, On that which should have been the stay And comfort of her matron years?

But from her bosom, as she leant, She took a nested violet, And gave it me—“because ’twas meant For those who never can forget.”

This is the flower: ’tis dry, or wet With something I may call my own. Why did I rouse this old regret? It irks me, now, to be alone:

Triumphs, indeed! Why, after all, My life has but a leaden hue: My heart grows like the heart of Saul, For hatred, and for madness too.

Why sits that smirking minstrel there? I hate him, and the songs he sings; They only bring the fond despair Of inaccessible sweet things:

I will avoid him once for all, Or slay him in my righteous ire— Alas, my javelin hits the wall, And spares the minstrel and his lyre!

Yea, and the crown upon my head, The crown of wealth for which I strove, Shall fall away ere I be dead To yon slight boy who sings of love!

Why are we captive, such as I, Mature in age and strong of will, To one who harps so plaintively? I struck at him—why lives he still?

Why lives he still? Because the ruth Of those pure days may never die: He lives, because his name is Youth; Because his harp is—Memory.