Page:Notes and Queries - Series 10 - Volume 2.djvu/10

 'mind. Alter ww\* v* ~"~ *i u the manuscript supplies much that has been omitted in printed texts. Add :-

so the severe strokes that I felt upon my conscience, Tt particular intervals, when. 1 reflected ever so slightly on the arguments it is built upon, have riven me very sensible proofs, that I never should fompaTs the fatter. Three and thirty years of my life did I spend in this manner, balancing between faith and infidelity, and leaving the upshot of all, and the final destination of a being built for eternity, to be cleared up at the universal judgment, which y^t I hoped would never happen. What a terrible reference of my everlasting interests, to a period decisive, and without appeal ! and at which every stain of unpardoned guilt must be pronounced a stain forever. In this dreadful condition, whilelwas grow- ing every day more insensible to my duty, tho at the same time not less convinced of the truth of the Gospel, it pleased my all-merciful Maker to visit me with a chastisement, for which I will be ever thank- ful and when the hour of discipline was past, and the scourge had done its work, he was likewise pleased to.visit me with such clear apprehensions ot the truth of his divine revelation, and such delight- ful assurances that all should be forgiven, and for- got if I would but return to Him, as I trust will never forsake me. Nor let this appear strange to you. my dear Cousin, as it does to many, that my faith should be increased without any additional arguments to persuade me. It is called enthusiasm by many, but they forget this passage in St. Paul,* 'We are saved by grace, through faith, and that not of ourtelves, it is the gift of God. ' The arguments indeed in favour of this glorious cause, are more than sufficient to prove the truth of it to any man ; but the heart is so often engaged to vote on the other side, that they fail to produce conviction, till it pleases God to strike upon the rock, and melt it into a sense of its own corruption, and the necessity there is for an atonement. My dear Cousin, may these everlasting truths" Printed text begins again, "May this ever- lasting truth." P. 35,1. 14, "comfort," MS. " happiness"; 1. 18, " that you can," MS. " you should." The postscript is omitted in the MS Pp. 145-7 :

V) CbO I MWBAWl I VVLJ BM uv **+* %-/ O CHJ\

recovery, till he went to Huntingdon. To M. M[adan].

Huntingdon, June 24, 1765.

MY DEAR MARTIN, I have long had a desire t<

write to you, indeed ever since it pleased God t<

restore to me the perfect health both of my mine

and body, and have with difficulty prevailed upoi

NOTES AND QUERIES. do* s. n. JULY 2, im



myself to defer it, till I had left St. Alban's. I ave suppressed my impatience to do it hitherto, n the full persuasion that a letter from me in a tate of enlargement, would be more acceptable tc- ou, than anything I could send from that suspected uarter. Blessed be God ! I am indeed enlarged,. nd you, who know so well, the spiritual, as well ,a the ordinary import of that word, will easily pprehend how much I mean to crowd into it. Martin, I have never forgot, nor ever shall forget, he instruction you gave me, at our interview in my hambers. It was the first lesson of the kind I had ver heard with attention, perhaps I may say, the .rat I ever heard at all. And notwithstanding the errible disorder of mind I fell into soon after, not 11 the thousand deliriums that afflicted me, have een able to efface it. My Heavenly Father in- ended it should be to me an earnest of his love, fhich is the reason I have not lost it : but, by his

Jessing upon it, it has been a key to me, together

with the assistance of his grace, to right under- tanding of the Scriptures ever since. I bless his- ioly name for every sigh, and every groan, and very tear I have shed in my illness. He woundeth ,nd his hands make whole :* they heal the wounds /hich he himself hath made for our chastisement^ ,nd those deeper wounds which by our sins we have nflicted upon ourselves. You remember the poor wretch whose illness so

much resembled mine, and you remember too, how ic was seen "cloathed, and in his right mind, and itting at the feet of Jesus, "f I thank God I esemble him in my recovery, and in the blessed

effects of it, as well as in my distemper. Pray for

me, Martin, that I ever may, and believe me that '. suppress much, lest I should alarm even you, by .he warmth of my expressions ; but you might read t in my eyes. Give my love to all your family, and to your

mother.

Yours, Martin, very thankfully, and very affectionately,

Pp. 153-7 :

W. C.'s answer to M Madan.

MY DEAR MARTIN, I am exceedingly obliged to- you for the letter with which you was so kind to favour me. I know your continual employments, and how difficult it must be for you to find opportunities of writing, but when you happen to meet with one which you can bestow upon me, without prejudice to anybody else, you will contribute much to my happiness by making that use of it. I have more than once been witness to your indefatigable labour with those who receive not the Truth, and I flatter myself, you will not think a small share of your pains thrown away on one who, blessed be God I has already received it. A line from one whom I know to be a real Christian, in the sterling sense of that appellation, is of more value to me now, than all the eloquence of all the orators, that ever spoke. Indeed I have much to be thankful for, so much, that I am continually apt to suspect myself of ingratitude, and how is it possible for a human heart to be sufficiently grateful for the blessings I have received? Blessings which I have forfeited all possible pretentious to, as many times as I have hairs upon my head. A life of three and thirty years, spent without God in the world, passing


 * Epheaians ii. 8.


 * Job v. 18.

t Luke viii. 35.