Page:Nicholas Nickleby.djvu/300

246 No second invitation was required. The company crowded and squeezed themselves at the table as well as they could, and fell to, immediately: Miss Petowker blushing very much when anybody was looking, and eating very much when anybody was not looking; and Mr. Lillyvick going to work as though with the cool resolve, that since the good things must be paid for by him, he would leave as little as possible for the Crummleses to eat up afterwards.

"It's very soon done, Sir, isn't it?" inquired Mr. Folair of the collector, leaning over the table to address him.

"What is soon done, Sir? " returned Mr. Lillyvick.

"The tying up—the fixing oneself with a wife," replied Mr. Folair, "It don't take long, does it?" "No, Sir," replied Mr. Lillyvick, colouring. "It does not take long. And what then, Sir?"

"Oh! nothing," said the actor. "It don't take a man long to hang himself, either, eh? ha, ha!"

Mr. Lillyvick laid down his knife and fork, and looked round the table with indignant astonishment.

"To hang himself!" repeated Mr. Lillyvick.

A profound silence came upon all, for Mr. Lillyvick was dignified beyond expression.

"To hang himself!" cried Mr. Lillyvick again. "Is any parallel attempted to be drawn in this company between matrimony and hanging?"

"The noose, you know," said Mr. Folair, a little crest-fallen.

"The noose, Sir? " retorted Mr. Lillyvick. "Does any man dare to speak to me of a noose, and Henrietta Pe—"

"Lillyvick," suggested Mr. Crummles.

—"and Henrietta Lillyvick in the same breath?" said the collector. "In this house, in the presence of Mr. and Mrs. Crummles, who have brought up a talented and virtuous family, to be blessings and phenomenons, and what not, are we to hear talk of nooses?"

"Folair," said Mr. Crummles, deeming it a matter of decency to be affected by this allusion to himself and partner, "I'm astonished at you."

"What are you going on in this way at me for?" urged the unfortunate actor. "What have I done?"

"Done, Sir!" cried Mr. Lillyvick, "aimed a blow at the whole frame-work of society—"

"And the best and tenderest feelings," added Crummles, relapsing into the old man. "And the highest and most estimable of social ties," said the collector. "Noose! As if one was caught, trapped into the married state, pinned by the leg, instead of going into it of one's own accord and glorying in the act!"

"I didn't mean to make it out, that you were caught and trapped, and pinned by the leg," replied the actor. "I'm sorry for it; I can't say any more."

"So you ought to be, Sir," returned Mr. Lillyvick; "and I am glad to hear that you have enough of feeling left to be so."